Common Limiting Beliefs That Are Holding You Back From Greatness

As a coach, I help my clients with limiting beliefs all the time.  But, what I've learned recently is that a lot of people don't necessarily know what it means to have limiting beliefs, and it also doesn't occur to them that they actually have them.

In today's episode, I'm diving into some of the most common limiting beliefs and how they might show up in your life.  I also walk you through a great exercise to help you dismantle those unhelpful beliefs and create new, more powerful and positive beliefs that will better serve you!

You can grab a free worksheet to follow along with >>HERE<<

I've also got another great freebie for you - grab 26 FREE journal prompts on my web site to help you put pen to paper and get to know yourself and what you want in life.  Journaling is such a great way to practice self-care!

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Transcript

Hello, and welcome to Real, Brave, and Unstoppable. A podcast about being real, having courage and creating a life you're excited to wake up to. I'm your host, Kortney Rivard and welcome to episode number six.  

Hello, and welcome to this week's episode, episode, number six today, we're talking about limiting beliefs.

I was talking to someone the other day who had just recently learned what a limiting belief actually was.  She's a designer and, like me, building her own business. She was starting to realize that she had some mindset things that were keeping her playing small. So she started to explore that. And she started uncovering these things that she never really realized were there that were holding her back from really getting to the place that she wanted to be in her business.

So as a coach, I deal with limiting beliefs all the time -  my clients, but also my own. So while I know that people generally need some help digging into them, identifying them and dismantling them by creating beliefs that better serve them. I hadn't really thought about the fact that generally it's not something that people think about knowing or digging into.

I mean, that makes sense. Right? I'm a coach and it's one of those jargony things that we kind of take for granted. But today I wanted to dig into this because in my work I help amazing women really figure out what they want and need to create a life that's freaking amazing. And when I work with a client, we really dig into finding out who they are at their core. - what's true for them as the foundation of creating a vision for their lives, because you can't really know what you want or what's going to make you happy if you don't really know who you are at your core. All along the way, limiting beliefs come up and we work on identifying them, dismantling them, and then creating new, more powerful beliefs that are going to stop holding you back.

But like I said, it occurred to me that there are a lot of people out there that don't really realize they have them. And how can I help you if you don't even know that you need help? You're probably not even gonna come and ask me for help. So how can I help you get past what's holding you back if you don't even realize there is something holding you back or something preventing you from living a life that you're crazy about.

So today I'm going to talk about what the heck a limiting belief even is. If you don't already know, and I'm going to introduce you to some of the most common offenders, the most common limiting beliefs, the little assholes that stand in your way, when it comes to creating the life that you want, that prevent you from being the person you want to be, and the person that you really truly are. 

So if you follow me, you know, that I always like to start with good definitions and a belief. The definition of a belief is: an acceptance, that a statement is true or that something exists like it's trust faith or confidence in someone or something. 

Okay. So we know what a belief is.

So how does it become limiting? So a limiting belief is something you believe to be true that limits you in some way. It could be about you, other people, the world. And these little buggers can hold you back from making some different choices in your life, whether they're better or hopefully not worse, but you know, it could be worse too.

They keep you from seeing new opportunities that are presented to you each day. They keep you from seeing that bigger picture. They keep you, like, you're looking through a peephole, like you can only see a limited scope if you look through one of those. Where as if you widen your field of view, you can see like everything in front of you, just more perspective.

They can prevent you from seeing your own gifts and, or accepting gifts that are offered to you. They can keep you stuck focusing on the negative parts of your life instead of the positive. They can keep you from taking action to be your most authentic, powerful self.  They keep you from seeing anything inconsistent with your current reality, which ironically is caused by the limiting belief. So in other words, you only see what you're prepared to see and really they just keep you from seeing what's really possible for yourself. 

The funny thing is most of us don't really think we have limiting beliefs. Cause we don't really know what they are. And to be honest, they can be really hard to spot. We accumulate them throughout our whole lives, starting in childhood. So a lot of it is autopilot stuff. And so knowing them and actually working to change them takes a lot of self-awareness.  

We start accumulating belief systems when we're little, including the limiting ones. And mostly they're created in childhood from interactions that we have with the people around us, like family, teachers, coaches, media society, our culture,  they can come from different experiences or trauma that we go through.

And like I mentioned, a lot of them come from childhood. Before the age of seven, our brains just aren't capable of discerning for ourselves what's real and what's not real. So we rely on the grownups in our lives to decide for us. 

So, you know, a situation occurs. There's an interpretation made that leads to making the situation mean something which leads to a thought. And then we believe the thought whether it's true or not, and keep thinking it. As similar situations occurred. And that process happens in tandem with the grownups, you know, in our life. 

But as we get older, they just kind of keep getting reinforced. So over time, those thoughts become beliefs. So we just take them as fact, even though they might not be true. And I just want to be clear. This is not about blaming people in our lives for passing down limiting beliefs.
It happens to everyone and we all have our own way we see the world. If you've ever been in like couples counseling, the one thing that gets drilled into you in terms of learning how to really have empathy for your partner is that each of you has a different reality. Two different lenses that you view the world and both are correct.

And it's the same thing here that people that passed on these beliefs didn't do so maliciously. It was just their reality at the time. And their beliefs were likely handed down to them from their parents or from their childhood. 

I don't know if you've heard of dr. Rick Hanson, he wrote a book called Buddha's brain.
And to be honest, I haven't read the whole thing, but there's a lot of good stuff in there.  He talks about how research has shown that it's actually easier for us to have limiting beliefs than beliefs that empower us. The research shows that your brain is kind of like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones, even most of your experiences are probably neutral or positive. 
So the negative experiences really stick and the positive ones kind of slide off of you and you kind of forget about them. How about that? It's kind of weird, but it's true. Even if you think about a Yelp review, how often do most people think to go leave a five star review for a really good experience, but the same people will often be like salivating at the chance to leave a scathing review.

For bad service, negative stuff sticks so much easier than the positive, and it really takes work to hammer those positives into our brain. 

All right. Are you ready to hear some of the most common limiting beliefs? There are literally thousands of specific examples, but I'm going to walk you through some of the examples in a bunch of different categories.

And some of these limiting beliefs show up in different categories, just sort of with different words, but the first category that I'm going to dive into is money. 
Money is such a crazy one. It's like such a charged topic. And so many people have money stories or limiting money beliefs, a ton of examples.

So I'm just going to read a bunch of them. And I'm sure that some of these will likely resonate with you. So here we go. 

• It's impossible to become rich unless you came from money. 
• I'll never have enough money to live the life I want to live. 
• Money is the root of all evil. 
• Money is a limited resource.
• Money is there to be spent. 
• Money is not all that important - it's only money.
• People with money can't be trusted.
•  I'm just not good with money. 
• You have to work too hard to get wealthy. 
• If you have money, you can never be truly happy. 
• It's selfish or greedy to want a lot of money. 
• Money and success are unworthy goals.
• I'll never be able to afford that. 
• I'll never be out of debt. 

I've personally done a bunch of work on money mindset. I've listened to a ton of podcasts and read a ton of books on an abundance mindset. And I can tell you from my own experience when you search to shift your mindset here, you'll start to see a difference in what's possible for you.

And it's not like I am, you know, rolling in the dough, making like multiple seven figures a year. Nowhere close to that! But when you start to think about it, money is really just an exchange of energy. You're exchanging a piece of paper or a symbol of value for something that you value. People give money a lot of power, and it's really just this exchange of energy.

And if you believe there's plenty of it out there and you just need to learn how to receive it, there will be doors that open for you. I personally still have money mindset work to do, but I have noticed that since I've started to read a lot about an abundance mindset that I really have noticed a difference in how things have shifted. You know, it's funny how, if you're worried about how finances are gonna feel or look, if you really have that mindset of, there will always be enough that it will just show up. And I don't mean like, you know, it grows on trees, but, I personally believe that money will always be there for you when you need it.
Sometimes you just need to learn how to see it as an opportunity to see it that it's there and you just need to go get it. 

I'm going to give you an example. I don't want to dwell too much on this one, but I, a few years ago, when I was going through my divorce money was really tight and. I was really worried about how I was gonna just basically do Christmas that year.

I was really stressed about it, and I used to have a really thriving family and children portrait business. I did really well with it, but when I, my ex and I split up, I really backed off of that. Actually once when my daughter was born in 2009, I really backed off of it. So, you know,  I still had this mailing list, this email list of clients that had worked with me in the past. So I thought, well, I'm just going to do a weekend of mini sessions and I'm going to do two weekends and just book as many people as I can. I paid for Christmas that year and way more. But you know, it was that opportunity was that was there. I just had to do something with it.
I had to see it was there and then I had to make it happen, but it was there for me to just reach out and grab. 

So many of us have stories about self-worth, there's a lot of limiting beliefs around this area of life. And these to me are some of the most dangerous because we're letting our beliefs tell us who we are and what we're capable of.

No good. Here are some, you may recognize I'll never be good enough. 

• I just wasn't born beautiful, smart, talented, funny, etc, etc. 
• I don't deserve this. 
• I'm not worthy of good things. 
• I'm powerless over my life circumstances. 
• I can't be my real self or people won't like me. 
• I don't know how, I don't know enough.
• I'm stupid. I'm not smart enough. 

It hurts even to read these, and I used to tell myself a lot of these things. One of the things I tell people that will change your life - absolutely no doubt - is to talk your talk to yourself like you talk to someone you love. So some of the things I just said, and I have said to myself in the past, I would never in a million years, talk to my sister, my mom, my daughter, my son, my boyfriend, or anyone that I love or was close to, let alone just probably a stranger believe those things about themselves.

So why would I believe that stuff about myself? If you have big self-worth limiting beliefs, please schedule a 30-minute call with me because I will help you identify your biggest three, and together we will create a plan for you to start working on this. I promise I will not have hurt feelings if you don't have any intention of working with me in one of my programs, but seriously, life is way too damn short to feel like this about yourself.

So I am here to serve you, and this is one way I totally want to help. So look in the show notes for a link to my scheduler. Please take me up on this. I want the best for you and starting with self-worth limiting beliefs is a really great place to start because once you start to shift those, it filters out into so many other areas of your life.

Your work life or your careers. That's another area where a lot of people have limiting beliefs that really hold them back from, you know, if you have aspirations to really climb the ladder or make more money, there's a lot of stuff that can come up for people. When I was an aerospace engineer, I had major imposter syndrome and I haven't really talked about this a lot.

For a long time, I was kind of embarrassed about it. But in high school, I was a straight-A student. I was valedictorian of my high school class and was a star in sports.  I always wanted to be the best at everything, but all the approval I got from everyone else was what kept me afloat. The problem was when I went to college, there were so many superstars and I was probably anything but average, but I felt very, very average. And to me, the perfectionist superstar, average was pretty much a failure. 

So when I was a junior in college, I was one of two engineering students at the University of Minnesota to get a summer internship that came with a scholarship at Boeing in Seattle. After graduation, I was offered a full-time job there.

And to be honest, I've talked about this before on my show and in my blog, but I didn't love it. But you know why?  I felt, I just, I felt so inferior. I was a newbie, so of course, I wasn't expected to know how to do the job the day I stepped foot in the office, but I still felt like an idiot. I felt like I wasn't smart enough to be there because I didn't know what I was doing.

I just assumed that I was the only one that felt that way. I'm pretty sure that wasn't the case, even for the nerds who made it seem like they did. I could have saved a lot of beating myself up if I had known that limiting belief back then. 

But here are some more: 

• Everyone hates their job so why should I expect anything different for myself?
• That's a good way to stay stuck in a job that you don't like. 
• Only really qualified people can start their own business. And I'm not one of them.
•  I can't make money doing what I love. 
• I don't have the qualifications everyone else has, or the letters after my name. 
• I know somebody that has that one. She's, she's really good at her job and she wants to do something and I'm not going to be specific because I don't want to call her out.
• But she wants to do something that she's really good at, but just an area that she doesn't necessarily have a lot of practical experience in. , There are a lot of people who do this, that have, you know, a lot of experience. So she feels like she can't do it because she doesn't, she needs to learn more and we'll get to that limiting belief in a while too. Anyway, moving on....
• I'm not smart enough to have this job. That was what I went through with imposter syndrome. 
• When are they going to find out I'm not smart enough, getting this job was just a fluke again, imposter syndrome. 
• I'm too old to go back to school. 
• I'm too far along to change my career path.
• I don't know the new technology.

Lots of stuff there. 
Actually, "I don't know the technology" piece of it was something that came up for me when my ex and I split. As a former engineer, I'd been out of the industry for 14 years or something like that. 12 years, 13, something like that.

And now let's be honest. I didn't really want to go back to a desk job, but that was one thing I remember myself saying is that I don't know how to do it anymore. I've forgotten everything. I'm going to be working with kids who are just out of school and that are really smart. And you know, here's me. I can't even remember how to program in FORTRAN, which is the language that aerospace engineers. tended to use back in my day. Unix scripting was another thing that I was really good at back in the day and I don't even remember like line commands anymore. 

So that was stuff that went through my head. Knowing what I know now, it's like, well, there's a solution for everything, but you can see how those thoughts pop in.

Relationships. I feel like this one can really go hand in hand with self-worth. A lot of these do actually. But have you ever had a crush on someone and thought, Oh, he's way out of my league. Yeah, I've been there, done that. A lot of us have, I think, but since I like to tell stories, I'm going to tell you kind of a funny one.

After I got divorced - or actually my divorce wasn't final - so I was separated, really. I was working for a brewery and I met this guy that worked for another brewery at a festival we were working at. And just, I'm just going to lay this out there. He was hot. I told him I liked his brewery sweatshirt and he asked me if I wanted to trade mine for his.

So his was an extra-large was too big for me, but I was just excited that he'd even talk to me, let alone want to trade sweatshirts. But mine was a medium and was in no way going to fit that dude. So we exchanged numbers or actually, I think he gave me his number and I told him, I'd hook them up with a shirt in his size.

So I was really afraid to text him. So I thought I'd just send an email because he gave me his card with all the info on it and I got no response and I thought, Oh, that figures, you know, he's way out of my league. So I waited a couple of weeks and then I texted him just of curiosity. You know, I didn't hear from you, if you want a sweatshirt, I have it. I can meet you somewhere or whatever, you know? So he responded like right away and told me, Oh, he was so sorry. He didn't see my email. He's not good with email, but he told me he wanted to meet up. So we could do the sweatshirt thing and I just about fell over.

But I really figured it was like, Hey, we're both in the beer industry. Let's get together for a beer and like network a bit. So we met up and had actually a really great time chatting and, I had this feeling, I  was like, no, we're just chatting, networking, but it felt like maybe he was kind of interested, but I was still like, nah, he's totally out of my league and that's, that's never going to happen.

So it's a long story and more than I really want to go into here. But we went out a couple of other times and it turns out that I was out of his league. I learned some stuff later about that dude. He was married when he was meeting up with me that he would take off his wedding ring. And later I learned that he did all kinds of just crappy stuff like using company money for some pretty questionable things and supposedly into drugs that I wouldn't want anything to do with and long story short,  I learned that he's not a person of integrity or good character.
So that dude is /was, a slimeball. And had I thought about the possibility that it's really me that is out of his league rather than vice versa, I really would have saved myself a lot of heartaches. 

So here are a few other examples:

• I always put more effort into my friendships than what I receive either my friends are inconsiderate or I'm just not good enough - So an alternative belief. Could be, I don't see friendships as a game of quid pro quo. It's my choice to put in effort into those I care about. And I do so because I don't care how it's reciprocated. I just do it. Cause I want to be connected to them. 
• Another one:  is my childhood was painful and difficult.
• I experienced struggles today because of my past trauma with family.
• Relationships equal pain.  How many of us have said that? So we're afraid of getting hurt. 
• I can't trust people. They might betray me. 
• Here's mine, he or she is way out of my league or he or she is too good for me. 

So when you can start believing that you are enough just as you are right now, you'll start to own the fact that you have everything inside you, that you need to be happy.

And as a result, you don't need a douchebag to "complete you". When you're already complete, you'll find the love that's right for you. And it will be for the right reasons, not the wrong ones. 

Happiness. Most people are about as happy as they make their minds up to be. That was a quote by Abraham Lincoln. And he is so right. 

When the limiting beliefs get in the way you just have a little more work to do, but you're still more than capable of making up your mind to be happy. So tell me if any of these sound familiar, 

• I'm unhappy because all of the pain I've experienced throughout my life.
•  Most people aren't happy, so why should I expect to be? 
• I'll be happier when...insert yours here
•  I'll enjoy my life when... insert yours here 
• I'll be able to have more fun after... insert yours here
• After I lose 10 pounds, after I get in shape, after I have a six pack, after I finish my degree. and so on. 

But don't wait to be happy. You deserve happiness today and you're capable of being happy today. So take this step. Trust me when I say you will not be happier when you weigh 10 pounds less. You will not be happier when you make $50,000 more. You will not be happier when you get a new job or get in better shape. You have the capability to be just as happy if not happier now. 

Change is a tough one for people. Change is hard. And part of why we create these limiting beliefs around change is that it's scary. We're really afraid to change for the most part. It's that comfort zone. I've talked about this a lot, but the comfort zone, even if it sucks, it's more comfortable, it's more familiar and unfamiliar unfamiliarity or uncertainty is really scary for most people.

A lot of my clients are moms and are approaching 40 or in their forties. And it's pretty common for people to think that it's too late for them to change. Sure. That's a limiting belief. 
Overwhelm is another one when things change or to-do lists might get bigger. Overwhelm can really set in, you know, even now during COVID, a lot of people are overwhelmed because there's so much uncertainty.

I bet you never thought of overwhelm as a limiting belief, but overwhelm is definitely something that you choose to believe. And you have the choice to think about your to-do list or your fear of uncertainty. You have the ability to think about it in a different light. Here are some more:

• This is just who I am and I can't change it. 
• It's too hard to change. 
• I'm overwhelmed. 
• I've always felt this way and I'm going to feel like this forever. 
• It's too late to change.
•  I'm too old.
•  I'll never be able to fix this. 
• Nothing good ever happens to me. 
• I never win anything. 

Shifting your limiting beliefs. And we're going to talk more about this in a little bit, but you can choose a new belief. 

If you wait for yourself to believe something new, you might be waiting forever, but you can actually decide on purpose to believe something different. So like in the case of  I'm overwhelmed, I've always felt this way. You know, one of the alternatives could be how I feel today is not how I've always felt or how I'm always going to feel. This too shall pass. 

So instead of getting stuck in that place of stress and feeling overwhelmed, you can just tell yourself that I don't need to believe I'm overwhelmed. I can just believe I'm in a place where I've got a lot going on, and this is going to get better. Or related to not being able to change.
Cause this is just who you are. 

Another or an alternative could be, you know, I strive to be better every day. I'm evolving. And if I don't like the current version of myself, I can always become who I want to be. I can decide what I want my life to look like on purpose. 

The fear of success and failure is another area where a lot of people have limiting thoughts, limiting beliefs, and it might sound odd, but yes, people do really have limiting beliefs around success.

It's a really sneaky one and it's really related to the fear of failure. So they go hand in hand, there are a bunch of different reasons. People are afraid of success. Usually they don't realize it's fear of success though. Because it's often just linked to, you know, maybe you think that success is setting you up for failure later or you're afraid.

And this is a big one in business - you're afraid of what's going to mean to really be seen, like have all of you be seen and you know, if you're successful, you can't just hide out anymore when you want to. And hiding out is kind of going  back to the area of change, where getting out of the comfort zone and trying something new is very scary. It's uncertain. It's not comfortable, which is why it's out of your comfort zone. But as I like to tell my kids, "outside the comfort zone is where the magic happens" and they hate that. But I still say it. 

So here are some examples of the fear of failure and success limiting beliefs. 

• If I fail at one thing, then I'm a failure at everything.
• Hello, perfectionist much?  I'm super guilty of that one. 
• I'd rather not try at all than risk failure. 
• Actually, all of these are very related to perfectionism. 
• I can't pursue my dreams because I might fail or I don't know how. 
• Or if I don't know how I'll look stupid, I can't let other people see me stumble.
• If it weren't for X, I would have Y.
• So that's kind of an excuse for it's kind of an excuse for failing or being afraid to fail. 
• If I had different circumstances, I would have succeeded.
•  If I didn't have the circumstances that so, and so had, I would have been able to do that just like her.
• Or blaming - it was so, and so's fault. 
• Or I would or could have done this, but  ...insert your word in the blank.
• I'll never figure this out so why should, why should I waste my time? 
• I'm going to fail anyway, so why should I waste my time? 

Yeah. A lot of those are things that I know as a former perfectionist or recovering perfectionist that I have felt. So that hits pretty close to home for me.
Then there are just generally some that I just kind of lump them into their own category because they're the, I can't.

So it's the general bucket, these also kind of fit into the "I'm not enough" category but are powerful enough on their own. So I like to separate them out. As I said, they're big. Like I can't, because I'm not smart enough. I can't, because I don't have time. Well, time, you know, we all have the same amount of time in a day. You can't create more time. You can make the most of what you have. So that's definitely a limiting belief in, it holds so many people back. I don't have time to work out. Well, if you schedule it, you're making time. You really do you have enough time. It's all about priorities.

I don't have the motivation.  Well, find the motivation.
I have no idea where to start. That's one that when I was thinking about coaching as a career, I really didn't think I could be a coach because I didn't, you know, I didn't know how to do it. I wasn't a coach. I didn't know how to be a coach. I just knew that I loved working with my coach and she said something to me one day is like, well, what, if you can figure it out? I was like, Oh, well, I probably can. I figured a lot of stuff in my life. And then I was like, well, I don't know how to do it. And she said, "well, you do really need to have it all figured out before you start?" And I was like, Oh, well maybe I don't, maybe I just need to know what to do next.

So then I went and found a certification program and the rest is history.

But this is also pretty good stuff. And I hope some of these examples have resonated with you and maybe you see some of them in yourself. So before I wrap this up, we're just going to chat about what you can do to shift your mindset so these limiting beliefs, aren't holding you back anymore, which is what we want.

We want you to create new, more powerful beliefs that really show you what's possible in your life. And it takes some practice. And a lot of self-awareness like anything. The first thing I want you to do is to start noticing when you're feeling resistance towards something.

Do you notice yourself saying I can't, or do you notice yourself making some excuses for why you don't want to do something? So once you've had some time to notice those things, I want you to think about which areas of your life, you notice yourself feeling that resistance or something that's holding you back.

So just start by picking one of those areas or topics kind of like I just did earlier in those different categories of life, like money, career relationships, you know, and so on. By the way, I have a really cool freebie for you to download, and you can find that link in the show notes. So it'll walk you through the exercise I'm about to talk about.

So what I want you to do now is brainstorm. If you follow me, you know, I love brain dumps and I want you to do a brain dump on all the limiting beliefs you can see you have around this topic. Now, this might take a little bit of time and you may need to put your pen and paper down to kind of think about it or, you know, just maybe it will be the catalyst for a little bit more self-awareness as you go through the next few days. So if you need to, if you get stuck, don't feel bad. Also, feel free to reach out to me as well. If you get stuck and we can go back and forth a little bit and email, or you can schedule a free call - also link in the show notes, to kind of go through it - happy to do that. I won't feel bad if you don't have any intention of working with me, if you don't want to work with me totally fine. I just really love to kind of help people get a glimpse of what's possible for them really.

So do this brain dump - as many as you can find. So, for example, maybe you see that you have a lot of money mindset issues that hold you back. So your topic is money or finances. So now we're going to brain dump all the limiting beliefs. Some examples might be like I mentioned earlier, I'll never get out of debt.

I want more money, but it's selfish to want more money. There's never enough money. I never seem to have enough money. My bills always pile up. I don't ever have money for the things I want. I'm always living from paycheck to paycheck. I'll never be able to make as much money as my  ex or I'm a terrible budgeter.

So next you're going to do - this is going to seem a little strange, but the next thing you're going to do is you're going to actually thank these crazy beliefs for how they've protected you in the past. As I said, I know it seems kind of funny, but yes, you're going to honor those thoughts because they've been with you for a very long time and they've developed in response to some things that have happened in your life and they once actually served a purpose for you.

So thank the beliefs for protecting you, but recognize that you are a grownup, and you are now mature enough to move past those thoughts and make the right decision in this moment without the belief running your life. So if you want to make the most of this exercise, write that down. Like "dear belief, thank you for what you've tried to do for me in the past".
You know, I'm in a different place, so thank you for your concern, but I got this and I'm ready to move on. So here's where the work really comes in for each belief. So you could do this exercise a lot of times, but for each belief, I want you to think of at least three examples in your life or the lives of others that you can use to disprove the belief that you don't want to have anymore - the ones that hold you back.

So at least pieces of at least three pieces of evidence that each belief is either false or just possibly not true.

So here's an example. One of the beliefs I listed above was: I'm terrible at budgeting and I'll never have the money I need to live the life I want to live.

Examples that might disprove that belief might be starting with, is that really true?
I haven't really ever thought about exactly how much money I'd need to have the life I want to live. So maybe, you know, maybe it's really not that out of reach. I've never really thought about that. Like that. I just assumed, or I really haven't explored other options for creating more money in my life and there let's face it.

There are a lot of options out there. I mentioned the photography thing earlier. You know, if I had just said, if I had just stayed stuck in, Oh, I'm not going to have enough money to buy my kids enough Christmas presents, then I would have stayed stuck in that belief. And just that's the way it would have been.

Another example of disproving this belief might be: there are a lot of people out there that do what they need to do to live the life they want.

Another way to look at this is if you see a friend of yours, that's always going on fun, vacations and doing fun things, and you think I don't, I don't have the money to do that.
Well, you also don't really know what their financial situation is, first of all, and you don't really know what their priorities are.  Maybe they sacrifice in other areas to be able to do those things.

Another one might be, I haven't exactly gotten out there and worked hard for more money. I just kind of do what comes to me. And maybe if I thought about something that would be more interesting to me, I'd be more motivated. So, you know, a side hustle or, you know, just being creative.

 And the next step, here's where it gets fun is now we're going to create a new, more empowering belief that's going to serve you better. So here's an example of taking that initial limiting belief of I'm terrible at budgeting, and I'll never have the money I need to live the life I want to live.

Right. We could perhaps turn this around to say there's endless abundance and prosperity out there for those who work hard and go after it. So there's the new thing we want to believe. The more powerful belief we want to have instead of the negative one or the limiting one. So the last thing we're going to do is strengthen that new belief.

Cause it's one thing to just say it, but usually in order to believe it, you need to back it up with something and then practice believing it. But first we're going to back it up with some stuff. So we're going to strengthen the new belief by finding at least three pieces of evidence to support it. So here are some examples to support:

There is endless abundance and prosperity out there for those who work hard and go after it.

My friend, Mary Jane used to have a really hard time paying bills and she was always living paycheck to paycheck, but she took a class on budgeting and said she did some work around figuring out her priorities and it looks like she's really made some improvements so I bet I could too. 

So there, you almost have like this social proof that someone else was kind of in your boat. And they went out and actually changed their mindset.

Another one could be:

There are a ton of stories out there about people who have created their dream life from nothing. The stories I've read all talk about how they had this clear vision and just kept taking steps, kept showing up and taking the steps.

So that's another one to put possibility into your head. Like, you know, it's a very common limiting belief to believe that people who have really created their dream life have had some kind of advantage. So if you really just try to flip the script on that and say, you know, there are plenty of people who started with nothing and really did make something out of it.
That's a really great piece of evidence.

Another one could be, I'm kind of an instant gratification person. It's very possible that I just wasn't open to the journey of finding abundance. It's not something that will necessarily happen overnight. Maybe it just takes some patience.

This is a great exercise to do. It really is. And I recommend doing it for, you know, not just one limiting belief, but anytime you really feel like there's something that keeps coming up, that you, once you start to become aware of it, you will kind of start to see some patterns.

But once you do that work, the final step that you should do or that you will want to do in this exercise is - I want you to actually forgive yourself and others for the different limiting beliefs you've developed, forgive yourself for letting them into your life and forgive others for being the cause of them. Even though they didn't intend to be, but just like, you know, let them go.
They had their place and now you're releasing them. You're letting them go.

Now give yourself permission to honor the limiting beliefs and just move beyond them. So I just said, let them go move on. But now you're just going to give yourself that permission verbally. If you need to write yourself a permission slip, put it on a sticky, whatever, write it in a journal, whatever you need to do.

I, Kortney, give myself permission to stop saying that I'm a terrible budgeter and I'm never going to... actually it's better to frame it in a positive light... I Kortney give my self permission to know there is endless abundance. There's a lot of money out there for me to go find if I want it. And I'm giving myself permission to open my mind to find out how to get it.
Maybe if you have a limiting belief that says it's bad to want more money, you might say I, Kortney, give myself permission to embrace the fact that I would like more money and it's okay to want more money. But give yourself permission to do what's right for you right now.

You are amazing. And the possibilities for your life are limitless. So give yourself permission to tap into what's possible for you. The people who are living amazing lives, they're not just stumbling across an amazing life. They're doing something. 

So the final thing that - this isn't necessarily part of the exercise. But the last thing that you will want to do is to create some time every day to set the tone for these inspired believing thoughts, you know, believe in yourself, to follow the path that leads to achieving your goals and dreams.

I like to set aside some time in the morning. To reflect on my goals. And if I need to, you know, if I need to write some positive thoughts for myself. I have a notebook - and I haven't been real great about it lately - but I have a notebook where every morning I will just, it was a suggestion of Brian Tracy, if you read any of his books, he's done a lot of sales books, but also productivity and mindset stuff. But one of the things I learned from Brian Tracy was to write your goals down every single morning, rewrite them and write them as if you've already achieved them. So like, if my goal is to, make $100,000 in my job or whatever the number might be is I am making a hundred thousand dollars....

So, you know, also be accepting that you're not always going to understand or know in advance what each step of the process should be. And that's okay. But cause you're not going to doubt yourself. And of course, you're never going to give up, you're going to accept that you really just need to know the next right step.

There's a quote by Tony Robbins that I really like, and it's, "We all get what we tolerate. So stop tolerating excuses within yourself, limiting beliefs of the past or half-assed or fearful States".
 Stop tolerating, the limiting beliefs and thoughts. And once you let go of them and believe something that's more powerful, more positive, more empowering, or inspiring, then my friend, you will see what's possible for you and you will go get it.

Well, friends, thank you for hanging out with me today on Real, Brave, and Unstoppable. If you liked what you heard or if you're enjoying the podcast, I would love it, and so greatly appreciate, if you would leave me a five-star review on iTunes. Also be sure to head on over to my website, kortneyrivard.com and you can sign up for some free journal prompts there. They're designed to help you get a little bit of clarity in what you want in your life.
You can also follow me on social media, Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest are all Kortney Rivard Coaching and Twitter at Kortney Rivard. Thanks again for tuning in today, and I will see you next time.