Ep 135 - Avoid Holiday Overload: How to Stay Grounded and On Track This Season

What my energy experiment taught me about staying steady when life gets busy and how I'm applying my learnings to the upcoming holidays.

Episode Summary:
If the holidays tend to leave you feeling off-track or exhausted, this episode is for you. I’m wrapping up my October energy experiment with some surprising takeaways — including what actually fueled my energy (hint: it’s not just sleep, water, and protein) — and how to stay grounded through the busy season ahead.

You’ll hear what I learned about creating lightness and freedom around healthy habits, how mental clutter impacts energy, and why self-compassion and structure can coexist beautifully. Plus, I’ll share a few simple ways to protect your peace, plan ahead, and enter January feeling calm, confident, and connected.

What You'll Learn:

• Why feeling energized isn’t just about your body — it’s also about mindset and emotional space
• The small daily shifts that made the biggest difference in my energy (including my favorite one-minute rule)
• How mental clutter drains your energy more than you might realize — and what to do about it
• The power of structure and flexibility when it comes to maintaining energy and ease
• Practical ways to stay grounded and intentional through the holidays so you don’t crash in January

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• ⬇️ Download: The Grounding Guide (Free Checklist)
• 🎤 Links to previous episodes mentioned:
  • Episode 132: 6 Energy Shifts to Help You Beat Burnout
  • Episode 133: The Hidden Energy Leak No One Talks About
  • Episode 134: When Fitness Goals Become About Validation, Not Health
• 📸 Follow me on Instagram for more tips on staying grounded this season

Transcript

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0:51

Hello, hello, and welcome back to Real, brave and Unstoppable. I'm so glad you're here with me today. If you have been following along. You know that I've been doing these monthly experiments as part of a bigger project, ongoing project. I'm really just focusing on one part of my wellness to see how it shifts my life. And I've been looking at these things through the lens of what contributes to feeling a greater sense of happiness, freedom, and what I call aliveness.

October Energy Experiment Recap

1:23

So we are wrapping up the October energy experiment. And honestly, I learned so much more than I expected and in different ways than I expected. If you're new here and you aren't sure what the heck I'm talking about, you can go back and listen to episodes. 132, 133 and 134 to get caught up. So I went into the month thinking, yeah, energy is simple. Like we get sleep, we drink water, we get good exercise or movement -workouts, we eat protein, and that covers it. At least broad strokes. And don't get me wrong, those things definitely do matter. If you didn't have any of those things in place and then you made those changes, I think you would notice a huge difference. I already have those things pretty consistent, so it makes sense that I maybe wouldn't notice as big of a difference with those. So you might notice a bigger difference just focusing on those physical things than I'm communicating here. But one

Non-Physical Energy Drains

2:33

thing I was really surprised about was the non-physical things that I noticed really sucked my energy. Or by contrast, notice the things that really gave me some life. So I'm gonna share some of my October takeaways with you today. What I learned and what I'm keeping going into the rest of my year, and hopefully maybe life. And the timing honestly couldn't be better because we're headed into the holiday season, which is like the Olympics of managing energy and mental load. So I'm gonna dive into how you can stay grounded during the next couple of months so you don't end up having to do so much getting back on track in January. That in and of itself takes up mental and emotional load. But

November Focus: Connection

3:24

first I wanna share a little bit about my Freedom and Aliveness project for November, which is connection. And I'm talking about connection in relation to both friendship and for me since I'm single dating. Why connection? Well. I think the connections we have in life can either help us feel happier, more connected, duh, and alive. Or they can also really drain us. But when we're engaging in healthy connections with other people, it can really make our lives feel so much better. Human beings are wired for belonging. It's a basic human need to have connection. So stay tuned for more on that. I'll be talking a lot about the holidays over the next month or so too, and connection is a really big part of that. But engaging in meaningful connection takes energy and we need to protect that energy when everything around us is demanding it.

October Energy Takeaways

4:28

So anyway, let's get to talking about my October energy takeaways. I have five to share. The first one is just kind of what I mentioned a minute ago. Energy is not just physical, it's emotional and mental too. This is perhaps my biggest takeaway is that there are so many things that aren't necessarily, you know, nutrition or movement or things like that, that are really big energy drains or can be big energy drains. I talk a lot about the three pillars of body, mind, and spirit in my work, and these three pillars create the foundation of everything that I talk about and everything that I do. Obviously, the physical things I mentioned, you know, moving your body, eating good food, getting enough sleep and drinking water are things that are incredibly important, so don't neglect those. But throughout October, there were times when I felt like all of that was really on point, but I still felt drained and just exhausted, kind of burned out. So I noticed when I took the time to be present with myself, and in the moment I felt lighter, I felt more connected to myself. I felt more grounded. I also noticed that when my mindset was crappy, if I was negative about things, letting worries get the better of me, or being really hard on myself, I felt really dull and burned out, almost numb. If I had a lot of spinning thoughts or unanswered questions, I also felt really drained. And to add to that, I also noticed that my environment made a big difference too. I noticed that physical clutter contributed a lot to mental load, and I felt so much more energized when I took a few minutes to pick things up around the house. More on that in a bit. My second takeaway was that being kind to myself helped me have more energy So I shared about this in episode 133. I noticed that being judgmental of myself was a huge, sneaky energy drain. I'd never really thought about it before. One thing that I observed was that when I noticed judgment and practiced some self-compassion, I felt so much lighter. And I notice that when I'm judgmental of myself, I really kind of get stuck in it. I feel bogged down. It weighs on my mind even though I'm not realizing it. And it makes sense if you consider that thoughts create feelings, and our feelings can influence our behavior. If my thoughts are very self-deprecating, I'm likely going to feel kind of shitty. And in contrast, if I'm kind and encouraging to myself, I might feel more inspired or motivated. Very different actions are born from those very different emotions. We do different things when we feel bad about ourselves than we do when we feel really good about ourselves. Research shows that self-compassion is more effective than being hard on ourselves when it comes to personal growth. In other words, less pressure leads to more joy. More joy leads to more energy. My third takeaway is around having structure. So I learned that structure is very helpful to me, but it does need to be flexible. Things like workouts and planning meals, they're really helpful to me. A morning routine is very grounding. So with workouts, I like to have them planned in advance so I can really stay on top of everything I have planned in my strength training program. I'm very intentional about this. However, there were some days when I was just exhausted and I didn't feel like getting out to my garage gym in the morning to work out. Yes, I do not have a gym membership. I actually have a pretty full gym set up with everything I could need in my garage. It becomes a problem in the winters in Maryland when it's 20 degrees, but other than that, it's a pretty good deal and it's free. Anyway, I digress. So I let this be a little flexible. Some days I swapped out the time with something else I planned and did my workout later in the day. There were a couple days though when I thought, you know, I think my body is really screaming at me for some rest. And I took it just like, yeah, I'm just take the day off. It was amazing how much that helped me. I was very surprised that I noticed a difference the next day. I was ready to go. It's all good. I also do notice that I have a much harder time feeling motivated to go out and work out. If I don't have my morning structure in place. My daughter gets on the bus at 6 25 in the morning and those days I am religious about getting that workout in the days that she's with her dad. And I don't have to get up for that. I have a much harder time 'cause I don't have like a bookend. So I end up juggling things a lot. That's an example of where I don't have the structure necessarily, and I might need to create a little bit because that is a little draining when I'm having to shuffle things around too much. So there's like a fine balance there for myself. I'm also someone who's pretty good about planning out meals for the week, but I also give myself a little flexibility there. Especially with lunches or swapping days around for various meals. For example, last week there was one night where the thing I was making was a little more involved than I felt like doing because I, I just quite frankly, felt fried after my work day. So I just swapped it with a different recipe and then. You know, that worked better considering the energy capacity I had that day. So, you know, flexibility is really key when it comes to, to this stuff. Keeping in mind what energy, what resources do I have? Can I be flexible with the things that I have planned or the things that I have to do, and consider is there a better fit for my energy level today? That's actually why in my to-do list, like my task list I have I mentioned this app called Notion that I absolutely love, but I have a field in there for the amount of energy it takes to complete the task, like high, low, medium. And so I consider that when I'm planning out things to do. Like I'm not gonna pick five really high energy tasks to put in my day that. It's not gonna happen. So that's just another thought. Try to work with the energy not against it. And the next takeaway was that tiny tasks mattered more than I thought they did. So I mentioned the one-minute rule in another episode. That was a game changer for me, honestly. It sounds so silly. And I got the idea for the one minute rule from the Happiness Project book. But the idea is that if a task is going to take one minute or less, I'm just gonna do it now. No procrastinating, just doing the thing instead of letting it follow me around mentally all day. And it was such a relief. And this might sound kind of funny, but I also felt very proud of myself for putting stuff away as I went. Historically, I tend to put things off like that. So this felt like a lot of progress to me. And another big takeaway was using my time intentionally actually really gave back energy. So I don't thrive in rigidity. Because I very rarely follow a rigid plan, and I get hard on myself like a lot of us do. So I don't, that doesn't work for me to have a super rigid plan, schedule, plan, but a little planning or a little rhythm to the week is really necessary for me. That's that structure. That actually made life feel easier. So each night, or most nights at least, I spent a few minutes looking ahead to the next day. So where did I have appointments? Where was I scheduling in workouts? What were my meal plans? Where were my breaks? And when I looked at this, like I literally wrote it down on a blank, hourly calendar, like blocked things out. And then I saw where I had my blanks, And one thing for me is I'm really terrible about getting like the littlest things on my to-do list... I'm being really judgmental of myself. I don't always let me reframe that... I don't always get little things that are on my to-do list done in a time that I feel like is reasonable. I'm kind of, I get kind of laid back about that stuff. But what I started doing is little things like that, like make a doctor appointment. I started thinking about my break times, my down times, and kind of being more intentional about what I was gonna do in those time blocks, but not totally planned out. Like I'd add a thing or two. These are two things you have to get done. Or, you know, I'm gonna work on business stuff during this block, or I'm gonna work on house, you know, laundry or house tasks during this block. I can't even tell you how much that helped me to know that. That these were the things, I was gonna do at that time. And it was really helpful because I'm somebody who can very easily, like just kind of piddle away time really easily. So when I wasn't procrastinating or overcommitting, I felt a lot more free and mentally spacious knowing when I had downtime in my day and planning ahead how how I was gonna use it felt super empowering and productive. And I actually felt proud of myself, which might sound weird, but it was a really motivating feeling. So what are some things I'm keeping from October? First of all, self-compassion as a daily practice. The one minute rule. Flexible structure plus trying to implement some simple routines into a couple areas of my day, protecting my time, like the valuable thing it is, and also, I didn't mention this, but some movement that feels fun, like I like working out, but sometimes it's nice just to move for the point of like for just like enjoying it and not thinking about it as like a workout per se. So I've been walking my dog a lot more. And that just feels really nice. And then the other bonus, it, it has is that I, a lot of times will walk her in the morning before I work out and it just is like a nice breath. Like the fresh air in the morning is very energizing. Okay, so let's shift because right as I'm feeling this momentum, the holidays are showing up,

Preparing for the Holiday Season

17:23

and if we're not intentional, the season can really wipe out every ounce of energy progress that we make. So during the holidays, I think most of us would agree. That there's a sense of pressure to do more. You know, I should make the season magical. I should show up to everything. I need to get the perfect gifts. I should stay joyful and grateful and energized. Meanwhile... for myself, I'm holding space for people all day in my work. Supporting their emotions, their stresses, their wellbeing, and I love that work. Don't get me wrong, it's a privilege to be able to do that, but when life outside of work ramps up, my energy doesn't magically increase to match that pace, and that's when overwhelm hits and the first thing to slip when we feel overwhelmed a lot of times is the care that we give to ourselves. And that's a recipe for burnout and exhaustion. So this year I'd really like to rewrite that story to work a little better for me... to work with my intention of feeling happier, more free and alive. Less shoulds, more boundaries, more recovery, more protecting the energy that lets me show up as my best self. I love this season and for a long time I didn't enjoy it because my ex-husband and I split up around this time, but now I'm back to loving it. And it's really important for me to enjoy it and just be in the magic of it. Let it be magic. And that's what today is really all about. Staying grounded through the holidays so we don't hit January. Feeling like we're starting over from zero. So the truth is, during the holidays, our healthy routines tend to fall apart. Are you with me? And this is because, well, this is for a lot of reasons. We have more social events to go to, so our sleep might get disrupted. Our food patterns definitely do busier schedules mean possibly fewer workouts, less time to ourselves. There is more alcohol, more sugar, more heavy food around, so we tend to not eat as healthy. And this isn't everyone, but like generally, and that this can lead to dips in energy. There's a lot more emotional labor during the holidays. Just things on our mind. We're taking care of people, we're, you know, it's hard to set boundaries sometimes, so there's a lot more of that. And more is mental overload. We have more decisions to make, which gives us mental fatigue also. And there are oftentimes a lot more people that we're interacting with, which gives us less time alone to recharge. If you're an introvert, like you know this well, that this is, that can be a hard time of the year. So in, it's like all of the dials get turned up at once. So instead of waiting until January to recover from all of this, we can stay grounded in the midst of all the chaos. It is possible. Not necessarily easy, but when we think about it as I'm gonna make the choices based on what's important to me, it is possible. So I've created a little bit of a checklist for myself to make this simple, because it really can be simple. And I've also put this into a little freebie checklist that you can use if it's helpful to you. So if you want it, just go to the real, brave, unstoppable website, real brave unstoppable.com and there's just a little box you put your email address into and I'll send it right over. So my little checklist starts with doing a daily check-in. So this is a, a quick scan

Daily Check-in and Non-Negotiables

21:36

with a few questions. How do I feel? What's going on today? What do I need today to feel like myself? Do I need a nap? Do I need some fruits and veggies? Maybe I need a nice walk in the fresh air instead of the treadmill workout at the gym, maybe I need a chat with a friend. Maybe I just need some kind words to myself. Small needs count. So pick something to give yourself today. So the next thing is to pick one non-negotiable for the day. You're gonna protect one habit, just one thing if, if you can protect more than one great, but you can just pick one non-negotiable. So examples of that can be water, movement or exercise, bedtime on time, a real meal, a coaching or therapy session... this is the one thing people ironically tend to cancel first when they get busy. As a coach, that's my experience is a lot of people are like, oh, I'm too busy to have my session. When it's like the one thing, it's really like sacred... it is time for you that you get to just focus on you. I mentioned the one minute rule, that's, that's another one. Brain dumping or journaling is two of my favorite things. Just kind of get thoughts outta my head. Tidying and decluttering. Closing the kitchen after dinner, which means, okay, I'm done with dinner, now I'm gonna clean everything up and close it down so there's no more snacking. Making meal plans or meal prepping. Those are all ideas of like little habits that you can set as a non-negotiable. I mean, there are others too, but those are some examples. Pick one, keep it. It doesn't have to be the same one every day either. Just give yourself that one thing, like, I just need to get this. Keep this in place. The third thing on my checklist is to plan some joy. Joy may or may not

Planning Joy and Flexible Structure

23:38

happen by accident this month. In the middle of a lot of stress, a lot of stuff going on, we really have to be intentional sometimes about planning those things that do help us find joy or feel joy. You know, going for a walk with some hot cocoa, going out and looking at the holiday lights, driving through those holiday displays. Holiday, movie night. Just be creative. Put those things on the calendar. The fourth thing, flexible structure. This one is so important. I mentioned earlier the best laid plans do not always pan out. Plans can shift. You're allowed to rest. So when we give ourselves grace around that, life just feels lighter. And then the last thing on my overall checklist here is dropping the invisible pressure.

Saying No to Invisible Pressure

24:32

So asking ourselves what's important to me What matters And letting that guide our choices. If it doesn't feel like, like love or care, if it's, you know, it's probably just obligation. And then we have to ask ourselves like, why does this matter to me? Is it really important or is it a should? You get to choose what holiday energy you carry. It's not our job to produce this season for everyone else. We deserve to enjoy it too. So I just went over like the sort of main bullet points in my checklist, but there are some other examples of having some non-negotiable anchors. And I, and there are a bunch of these ideas in the little cheat sheet checklist that you can get. But here are some other examples. So first of all, sleep. I, I think I mentioned that already, but sleep comes first. If, if I have to choose, sleep wins every single. Time. Making sure that I'm having like one meal that's nourishing, like a day at least, like doesn't have to be perfect. Just like can I get a, do a meal where I get, you know, a palm or two serving a protein, a couple fistfuls of veggies you know, making sure that we have at least one meal where we are getting some good food in us. Okay. Using movement as a, a mood tool. So this one can be a hard mindset shift, but using exercise or movement as a mood tool and not a calorie strategy. So that's, I talked about non-exercise activity thermogenesis in one of my social media posts last week. And that's really just all exercise that is like unplanned. It's not meant to be for a workout, it's just movement. And that can be walks, stretching, dancing, cleaning the house. It can be walking slow too. Just keep the body online, keep it engaged. You know, the yes or no test you can commit to, to that. It's non-negotiable. I'm gonna ask myself, I'm gonna do this test every time I have something. If it's not a hell yes, it's probably a no. So let me really ask myself, why is that important? You know, checking in on that. A quiet moment every day. Even if it's just a couple minutes. Stillness. Creates energy too. And I've mentioned practicing self-compassion. This is so important during these next couple of months. Have compassion for yourself. Don't, you don't have to do it all. You don't have to do it all perfect. Holiday burnout is optional. Joy is not. If you, if you're getting burned out, you have to ask yourself why. And ask yourself about your choices. So here's what I wanna leave you with today. Question.

Final Thoughts and Grounding Practices

27:29

What is one grounding practice you can commit to this holiday season? Just one. Small. Sustainable. You can pick one and do it the whole month and a half-ish month, I guess, or you can pick a few and rotate through them. But write it down. Tell a friend. Protect that like your energy depends on it. 'cause it does. So if this episode resonated with you, if you're feeling that mix of excitement and overwhelm heading into the holidays, share this episode with a friend who might need it too. And if you need support staying grounded and energized through the season, I have something coming next week that's gonna help a lot. So make sure you're subscribed and following along. We can make this holiday season feel different. Less pressure, more presence, more connection, more you feeling alive and energized in your own life. So thank you my friend, for spending this time with me today, and I will see you next time.