Ep 126 The Secret Ingredient to Finding Purpose in Life

In this episode I'm diving into the 3rd pillar of holistic wellness - spirit. Most of us are pretty familiar with spirit's sisters - body and mind, but this one easily gets neglected for a variety of reasons.

The thing is, this one is like the glue that holds us all together. Listen to this episode to learn why this pillar is the secret ingredient to feeling connected to life.

Resources shared in the episode:
1. Episode 19 - on Journaling
2. Guided Spirit check-in - click HERE.

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Transcript

ATR2100x-USB Microphone: 0:51

Hello, friends. Welcome back to Real, brave, Unstoppable. I'm glad to have you back for this episode. Number 126. So I've been working with people on their mind and spirit. Parts of themselves a lot over the last many years, I've been coaching. Five. Fears about. But I've also recently realized that I'm really missing that piece of things where I'm helping people with the physical aspect of their health as well. I've always loved that. I'm a certified personal trainer. I'm athletic. I love to be active and work out. And I also really love helping people reach those sorts of goals as well. Or just. You know, have fun with it. And for some reason, combining all of those things together. I just was a long work in progress and I think some something finally clicked and this just seemed like the time to do that. So today in the work I do, I'm focusing on a holistic model for creating your best life and my philosophy.And how I work is built off of a foundational three pillars. So there's body, there's mind and their spirit. And today in this episode, I'm going to talk about the spirit pillar, because a lot of people ask me questions about this. Like, what is this. So I'm going to expand a little bit on what spirit means and why it's a really important part of wellness from a holistic approach. So a lot of times, When we think about wellness, most of us focus on the physical stuff. Things like exercising, eating, right, getting enough sleep. Some people focus on losing weight or building muscle, things like that. Others might think about mental wellness, like managing stress or practicing mindfulness, but there is this third piece to the puzzle and that is spirit. So, what is that? A lot of people think about it as like relating to God or a higher power. And yes, it can be that. But it can mean different things to different people. For me, for example, spirit means connecting to like the greater collective. To something bigger than myself, even if I'm not really sure what that is. It's about connecting with my inner knowing and really tapping into that like infinite pot of wisdom that exists somewhere inside of me. I can't always tap into that by the way. It's also knowing what's important to me and connecting with those things to create meaning and a sense of purpose in my life. I also like to think about spirit like this. If I consider having two selves, one that's really run by that thinking brain. That has lots of thoughts. We're in routine. You know, there are those times where we kind of feel like life is almost robotic. It's sort of like the part of us that's like in the forest, we're in the weeds just day to day minutiae or, you know, bouncing from thing to thing. And the other part of us is really like experiencing life and seeing things from this broader perspective. Sort of like the constant, like grown-up, wise version of you that can rise above the minutia to really see the bigger picture. Here's something that I think is kind of neat when I ask clients this question, like when we're thinking about these two selves, when I asked them what they perceive as the difference between the two selves. Most of the time people say, well, the sort of the spirit part of, you know, the, the part that we think of as spirit is this sort of calm, wise voice that really feels like truth. And the thinking self is more like frantic and busy. Like, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, but this and yeah, but that, and I got to do this and I got to do that. Um, and I really, really agree with that. That resonates with me so much. It's kind of like, it's sort of that intuition. when you really connect into that intuitive self things, feel like really true and wise and calm. So just think about that. Overall though. I think that Spirit's about creating meaning, finding purpose, and connecting to something bigger than ourselves. So, what does that look like though? Again, I mentioned it can be totally different for, for everyone. Some things that come to mind. That might resonate with you are, first of all, maybe connecting with nature. Or creative expression like art or music or acting, or, you know, anything that's real creative using that right side of your brain. Developing and connecting with your intuition or your inner wisdom. Maybe it's like just sitting with I do, I do a lot of times exercises with clients where, especially if they're having a hard time, not overthinking decisions, where they just pause and sort of feel into it,. Like try to access that intuitive self or that inner knowing. And really here, we just kind of, we really literally like sit and feel... what's the first thing. And this is actually also where I get into to asking that question about like, how are these two selves different, but like just feeling into it and sort of learning how to tap into that. More feeling intuitive part of yourself. Engaging in meaningful work or service to others can be another way. Exploring spirituality, religion, or a higher power, if that resonates. And also cultivating gratitude. Wonder, awe joy. So the thing to remember is this pillar is very personal and completely unique to each individual. So how you connect to the two spirit is really different is going to be different than your friend. So you might start to think about this a little bit. Like how do I connect to that part of me? So let's talk about how this pillar spirit fits into the big picture of overall wellness. Well, for me, it is really the part that ties everything together. So. I think it's what gives our efforts with body and mind a sense of purpose and direction because really, I mean, let's be honest. What's the point of building a strong body or developing a calm mind if we don't really have a deeper why behind it all. Spirit is really what helps us connect with our, why. It's the pillar that really fuels our motivation when we're tired, or when we're overwhelmed. It reminds us of what really matters. Whether that's being present for our family or making an impact in the world, or like maybe it's just even simply finding joy in the really small everyday things. And here's the thing.: Spirit is also what we turn to when we feel stuck. This is why I love this pillar and why it is so important. Have you ever had one of those moments where you feel like you're just checking all the boxes, like, you know, you're eating healthy or you're working out, you're staying productive, you're doing your job. You're raising your kids. Maybe you're going out with friends and, you know, doing some hobbies here and there, but still you feel like something or maybe a lot of things, are missing. Well, that's where the spirit pillar comes in. Because it's the part of us that really craves meaning and connection, and that sense of purpose. I do a lot of work with my clients on discovering their values and really then using those values to really make choices in life and, you know, values are really, what's ultimately important to you. Your guiding principles in life that, you know, even if nobody was watching you, you would still care about them. And you'd still want to show up in those ways. They act like a compass to really help keep you on the right track toward living the life you want. Connecting with the things that are important to us as what brings us meaning and purpose in life. And it makes sense. Like if we don't really care what we're engaging with, we're going to feel really different than if we're engaging in things that we really do care about. So think about it this way, the body is about what we do. The mind is about how we think, and the spirit is about why we do it. And all three are interconnected. So when you nurture your spirit, you naturally feel more energized to take care of your body. And you're more grounded in your thoughts. Also. When your body and your mind are strong, it also becomes easier to tap into your spirit. So we need all three. This becomes really important when it comes to creating new habits around the other two pillars because it's when we connect our values on our vision. With our goals or desires that really transformation happens. Think about when you do something you don't care about, you're not nearly as motivated to get it done. Or stick to it. For example. Maybe you're someone who finds a sense of purpose and like helping other people. So when you focus on that spirit pillar, maybe you volunteer, support a cause you care about. Or even, maybe it's just showing up as your best self in your relationships. You will likely notice how it gives you more energy to take care of your physical health and like clarity to manage your mental wellbeing. When you have thoughts that aren't helpful, you're able to notice them and go, Ugh, that's just a thought. Side note, one of my clients that was like a life-changing phrase for her. Life-changing. Every time she noticed a thought that was keeping her stuck. She'd just pause and say, it's just a thought. I loved it. So great. But when you're connecting with things that are important to you, it also really you feel when you're connecting with things that are important to you, you feel good about yourself too. And that really fills up like that. What I call aliveness tank. When you really feel like you're living your life and it's not just pulling you along. You don't feel as depleted and you feel more energized. On the flip side, when we neglect this part of ourselves, it can really leave us feeling disconnected or like we're running on autopilot. I also like to call it running on the hamster wheel of life. We like, we might feel busy, but we're unfulfilled. Or we feel like we're going through the motions without a sense of meaning. So, this is why caring for your spirit as just as important as eating well or managing stress. It keeps you aligned with the bigger picture. It keeps you feeling happy and energized about life. Like, I guess it really, for me comes down to, it helps us, it helps me feel alive. And when I start to feel like I'm going through the motions, this is the stuff I take care of. So in the context of holistic wellness, the spirit piece is also it's I guess you could think of it as like it's the piece that helps us live with intention. So it's what allows us to feel whole and balanced and connected, not just to ourselves, but to the world around us. So I want to expand a little bit more on why it's so important to take care of this pillar of your overall wellness. So let's start with this. Like I mentioned, our spirit is what connects us to the bigger picture of our lives. This is the part that asks. Why am I here? What am I meant to do? How can I find meaning in this experience? So when we neglect this part of ourselves, like we, like I mentioned, we can end up feeling stuck, burned out unfulfilled, no matter how much we take care of our body and our mind. So, if you think about it, this way, you can exercise daily, you can eat all the right foods, you can practice mindfulness, but if you feel disconnected from your sense of purpose, You can feel empty. Have you ever felt like that? I have totally. The spirits, what helps us bridge that gap. It's what keeps us moving forward with clarity, energy and intention. One of the reasons spirit is so essential is that also a really fosters resilience. So as you probably have noticed. Life will always throw challenges our way. Always. And just, I mean, my experience is that just when you figure one out. You feel like, okay, cool. I got my stuff. I got that. I got it through her, threw me the curve ball. I solved that problem. So I'm good. Oh, no. Oh, no people. No, no, no, no, no, no. You are not done. I think everyone's different. But from my experience, like, yeah, I thought, okay, this, this is the worst time of my life. It's done. I'm good. From here. no. Nope. This is not how it works. So when we really connect to this part of our wellness, or when we connect to that part, that spirit part. Whether it's our values, a sense of community, or even like just the belief that our lives have, meaning. Our pain has purpose. It becomes a lot easier to weather those storms. Uh, spirit really gives us grounding and perspective. We need to bounce back and move through the hard times. Caring for our spirit also helps us show up as the best version of ourselves. I have people all the time come to coaching and say, I just want to be the best version of myself. And, It's a very broad goal. But when we feel aligned with our purpose and our values, I mentioned this earlier, but we're naturally more energized. We're more fulfilled. And like we're just more present for the people around us. We're not just surviving life and going through the motions, we're actually thriving and living it. And that kind of energy, it really ripples out into every area of our lives, whether it's relationships work, or even health. On the flip side, neglecting that spirit can have some pretty big consequences. I mentioned autopilot. It's really easy to fall into that. I fall into it too. Like recently I have felt that way. And I know though, when I notice what that feels like, it's my cue that, oh yeah. That's, I'm neglecting in this pillar. So, you know, you might feel like you're chasing goals or meeting expectations, but without a deeper sense of meaning, it just kinda feels like draining and maybe you might even feel unmotivated. So, this is all why I believe that spirit is really just as important as taking care of your body and your mind. It's also why, if you think about people who are really unhappy with their body and you look at them and you're like, oh my God, why are you unhappy with your body? You're gorgeous. They're not taking care of their spirit. We want to live lives that are full of depth and color and beauty. And that's what helps us wake up in the morning with a sense of purpose, even when life feels overwhelming and the really beautiful thing friends is that caring for your spirit does not have to be complicated. It's about tuning into what matters most to you and really making space for that in your life. When you make time to nurture your spirit, you are giving yourself the gift of connection to yourself also to others. And actually what's really cool. Is that when you focus on what matters to you. It makes it really easy to prioritize your to-do list. It makes it really easy to simplify your life. And then also when you make time to really nurture your spirit, you're giving yourself the gift of connection. Connection to yourself, to others and to just the greater meaning of life. Of your life. And honestly seriously that that's a gift. It sounds cliche or cheesy, but that's a gift that can really carry you through the toughest moments. It doesn't mean you won't have tough moments. It doesn't mean you will not be messy or you won't fall apart. But it does just being that it helps carry you. It helps you be resilient. It's a really important if you haven't figured it out by now, I think it's a really important part. So. Now that we've talked about what it is, what spirit is and how it fits into the overall picture. Look like let's talk about how to actually care for this part of ourselves. Like how do we do this? And really the truth is nurturing your spirit. Doesn't have to be complicated. It does. However, take intentionality. First, I want you to think about what makes you feel alive? What activities or experiences make you feel connected to yourself, to others? Or even something bigger than yourself? And these are often the things that fuel your spirit. For some people, it might be walking in nature or sitting by the ocean. I love, I personally love sitting in nature. It's like, it just really, it is definitely a way for me to nurture that part of me for others, it could be creating art. Journaling practicing yoga, gardening. Spending time on the water. The key is really to identify what fills you up. And then make time for it. One way to care for your spirit is to explore your values. So ask yourself, what's really important to me? What do I stand for in life? Who am I at my core, what's important to me? When we align our actions with our values, that's where we get purpose and fulfillment. That's where we get a sense of those things. For example of kindness is a core value for you. You might find it really uplifting to volunteer. Write notes of appreciation, do like small acts of kindness for others, things like that. Uh, another way to care for your spirit as connect sting with awe and wonder. So this could be simple stuff. These are things that I love too. Watching a sunrise or a sunset stargazing. One of my favorite, I love to look at the moon. Like I just, I love the moon for some reason. I love looking at stars. It really helps me connect with that. Especially because you consider like how far away those things are, and it just sort of has this sense of Like there's so much out there. It just is kind of cool. Like we're such a small little part of the overall thing. Maybe your thing is listening to really beautiful music. So these moments remind us of beauty and mystery of life, and they can really help us feel kind of grounded even in tougher times. Practicing gratitude is also another very powerful tool. I just want to preface the rest of what I'm going to say with practicing gratitude does not mean that we're bypassing what doesn't feel good. What's hard. What we're struggling with it does not mean that at all. It just means reminding our brain that there are these other things also that are pretty damn good. Or even just kind of good. Like, however you want to think about it. It's not bypassing pain and shitty things. It's just saying, oh, Hey, like this is shitty, but also this is pretty, this isn't so shitty. And. That might be hard sometimes. Depending on what is going on in your life. Trust me. I have been there. I have been there. But when you start to look for those things, it starts to make a difference. Promise you. And it can be noticing. The big things or small things, you know, it just shifts our perspective and it helps us feel more connected to what really does matter. So maybe try starting a gratitude journal or simply just taking a moment every day to just reflect on what you're thankful for. Even if it's one thing like I'm drinking this warm coffee and it's really cold outside, I'm really thankful I have this warmth and coziness in my life. For some, um, spirit. My, like I mentioned earlier, it might be connecting with a higher power or spirituality that could mean prayer or meditation attending church or religious services or exploring spiritual teachings. But remember this does not have to be tied to a specific religion. It's about whatever makes you feel connected to something beyond yourself. Last consider spending time in meaningful connection with other people. Whether that's deep conversations with the close friend or joining a community or a group, or maybe it's working on a shared cause. These interactions can, they can really help us feel seen and supported and, That connection is. It can really help us feel like we belong. And like we are part of something. Bigger than ourselves. I'm also a really big fan of creating space for reflection. Life moves really fast. And a lot of times we are just not aware of what's going on in our brain. Or. What we're doing in life. That's where the autopilot comes from friends. So sometimes we just need to slow down and reconnect with ourselves. And journaling is a great way to do this. You can write about your dreams, your challenges, or even like big questions in life. Like what brings me joy? What kind of impact do I want to have on the world? How did I feel today? What am I feeling right now? Or maybe you want to draw a picture or get out some paints and paint in your journal, or, you know, like you can write one word how I feel today. Journaling can take many forms. I did an episode on journaling. Oh, back in 2020. It's actually episode number 19. So go check that out. It talks about journaling and how, you know, there are a lot of different ways to journal. So remember that caring for your spirit is not about perfection or adding another thing to your to-do list. No, it's about noticing what makes you feel most alive and fulfilled, and then making that a priority in your life. And like everything I talk about, start small, even five minutes of just being intentional. Being mindful or intentionally reflecting... Or connecting with yourself can have a really big impact. Remember when you nurture your spirit, you're not just taking care of yourself, you're fueling the energy and the purpose that will ripple out into everything you do. So I think one of we're going to talk right now, before we end the episode, I just want to talk a little about some of the misconceptions about this pillar of wellness. I think one of the biggest reasons people shy away from the idea of spirit is because there are so many misconceptions about what it means. For a lot of people, the word spirit immediately brings to mind, religion or faith in a higher power. Well it, well, that can be a part of it. It's not the whole picture. And that certainly is not the only way to connect with your spirit. So if that's concerning your attorney or turning you off, I encourage you to just sort of look within and let me just say it loud and clear: like you don't have to believe in God or follow a particular religion to nurture your spirit. Spirit is deeply personal and it's not about subscribing to someone else's beliefs or practices. It's about discovering what really brings you a sense of meaning, purpose and connection. For some that might involve prayer or meditation or connecting with the higher power, but for other people, it might mean spending time in nature or pursuing creative passions or finding joy and just really simple everyday moments. Another misconception. Is that caring for your spirit requires a lot of time and effort. But the truth is it doesn't have to be complicated or time consuming. Sometimes it's as simple as taking a few minutes to just pause and reflect on what you're grateful for or sitting quietly and just taking a moment of peace, just enjoying that. Small intentional acts can also go a long way and feeding your spirit. Using meditation as an example, People when they start to meditate, a lot of times what happens. Is there, like, okay, I'm going to meditate for 15 minutes every day and I'm going to get into that habit. Well, that's not easy. I mean, it's only 15 minutes, but. You know, then we get into people have expectations about meditation. I'm not supposed to think which is not true by the way. You're of course going to think that's what your brain does. You can't just turn the switch off in your brain. So you're going to think the practice of meditation is learning to observe your thoughts and not hook into them. But people then get frustrated. So it's, it's better to, you know, if you're not familiar with practices around your spirit or you haven't really done that, it's better to, to just do a tiny bit and build on that. But. I always say it's better to get consistent with a tiny bit of time. And then build from there. Otherwise you're not going to do it. I've also heard that spirit feels too abstract or vague or woo. It's hard to define and therefore it's just hard to address. And I totally get that spirit is abstract in a lot of ways, because it's unique to each of us. It's not something you can really measure or put in a box, right? Like with our body, we. W this is pretty, pretty cut and dry. We want to work out. We want to exercise. We want to eat healthy foods. We want to, you know, get more sleep. With our mind, like, you know, it's like, what is our self-talk? What does, you know, what is our mindset? And the spirit it's like, woo. It's a lot there, a lot of different ways we can tap into that. But this is also what makes it so, so powerful is it gives you the freedom to define it on your own terms. Finally. Last thing I want to address is some people feel like focusing on their spirit is this luxury. It's something to do after they've taken care of quote, unquote more important things like their body or their mind. Or even just other people, other things. Got to put everyone else first. Right? But I would argue that spirit is just as important if not more so, because this is the piece that holds it all together. When you take the time to care for your spirit, you're not being indulgent or selfish. You're actually fueling this deeper part of yourself that allows you to show up fully in your life. It allows you to be there for other people. It allows you to. Take care of your body and your mind. So if the idea of spirit has felt intimidating or even irrelevant to you in the past. I encourage you to approach it with curiosity. One of my favorite words, instead of judgment. Ask yourself. Like, what would it look like for me to care for my spirit in a way that feels authentic to who I am. There's no right or wrong answer here. All right. We have covered a lot today. We've explored what the spirit pillar is and why it's such a crucial part of holistic wellness. We've talked about how it connects us to our purpose, gives meaning to our lives and helps us navigate those stuck moments. And we've also gone over some really practical ways to care for your spirit and we also addressed the common misconceptions that might be holding you back from prioritizing this part of yourself. So as we wrap up. I want to just leave you with this thought. Caring for your spirit. Isn't about perfection and it's not about adding one more thing to your already full plate. It's about reconnecting with the parts of life that light you up and ground you. It's about giving yourself permission to slow down and ask those deeper questions to create meaning and to find joy in the present moment. Your spirit is really a unique part and an essential part of who you are. And when you take the time to nurture it, you'll see how it really does start to enhance every other area of your life. Your body, your mind, even your relationships. So here's my challenge for you: this week. I want you to take five minutes, just five minutes. And do something that feels meaningful or nourishing for your spirit. It could be journaling,walking in nature, listening to a favorite song, or simply pausing to breathe and reflect. Whatever it is, let it be something that connects you to yourself or to the world around you. And if you're not sure where to start, don't worry. I've got you covered. If you check the show notes for, I have a link to a short guided practice that will help you tune into your spirit. So you can click that link and. Put your email address in, and we'll give you an audio that you can download and listen to whenever you want. Look at how easy I made it for you. So before I go, I do just want to briefly introduce the program that I've launched this week called this year is different. It's a 12 week program that is designed to help you build strength, confidence, and energy that lasts. This program is built around the three pillars of body, mind, and spirit. So everything I talked about today, we're going to tap into that stuff. At the beginning when we set goals, but we're also going to really, really hone in on it later in the program as well. It's 12 weeks. We're going to go through setting goals that are aligned with your values, your vision for. You know, your wellness vision, so to speak. We're also gonna learn about the practical things like, I gave you a lot of tips on nurturing your spirit today, but we're going to talk about nutrition. We're going to talk about movement. We're going to talk about mindset, like how to stick with goals. Stick with what you're trying to create. Even if you fall off the wagon. We're going to talk about, self-compassion being nice to yourself, motivating yourself from a place that's nice and encouraging rather than hard on yourself. Yeah, we're going to talk about so many awesome things. It's going to be great. The first time I've offered it as a group program. Even though I've used a lot of this content individually with people. There are weekly live coaching calls, where you get support and live coaching from me on what you're working on. You get to learn from an amazing community of women. You have accountability. You're going to learn so much. So I would really love to see you there in the group. And I know you won't be disappointed. I know you won't regret that. So go ahead and check out the link in the show notes as well, enrollment is open and the early bird discount expires on Friday at midnight. So make sure that you go take care of that now click on the link, go sign up and, yeah, I hope to see you there. All right friends. Thank you so much for tuning into real brave and unstoppable episode. Number 1 26. I hope this was helpful for you. If you have any questions about anything or even just want to chat. Please drop me a line... link is in the show notes.