Ep 117: Do it Scared: Lessons Learned from Climbing Half Dome

In this episode, I’m sharing about my recent solo adventure to Yosemite National Park where I climbed the iconic Half Dome.

This climb terrified me and I almost didn’t go through with it. Listen to this episode to learn how I conquered my fears and reached the summit.

You’ll also learn about the lessons I learned from pushing myself out of my comfort zone and doing it scared.


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Visit my website to learn more about coaching: www.kortneyrivard.com

Transcript

0:51

Hey friends. And welcome back to real, brave and unstoppable for episode number 117. I hope you're settling into the fall routine back to school. Shorter days, cooler temps. And all that stuff. I'm just looking forward to living in my Uggs again. I love those things. Uh, yeah. So if you follow me on social media, you may have seen little snippets of my recent trip to Yosemite national park. I did another like bucket list, solo trip. It was kind of a short one. I went over a long weekend, but I had the opportunity to camp in Yosemite. And climb half dome. So. I decided to make it happen. It was really an epic trip. Too quick. It was a total whirlwind, but it was really amazing. And just like my wilderness backpacking trip to Colorado in July, as I mentioned, I did this one solo as well. If you've never been to Yosemite, Half Dome rises about 5,000 or so feet above the Yosemite valley floor. And it's at about 8,800 feet above sea level. So just a little bit of history. Cause I think after him was so cool. Despite an 1865. Like the year, 1865 report declaring that halftone was quote unquote, perfectly ex inaccessible being probably the only one of the prominent points about the Yosemite. Which has never been and never will be tried. And by him and foot, I took this off the national park website. I just thought that was interesting that they said that nobody would ever get to the top of it. Guy named George Anderson reached the summit in 1875. In the process, he laid the predecessor to today's cable route, which I'll talk about in a minute. So some people hike up to half dome from the valley floor in one day, which is about 14 to 16 miles round trip, depending on your route. And on top of that, like you're climbing like the 400 foot summit part of half dome, and this whole thing is super strenuous. I broke it up over two days. I decided to backpack in and camp at little yosemite valley campground. It's a backpackers campground... so I was able to get up early and hike up to Half Dome before the crowds arrived. I'm not a crowd person. So, yeah, that appealed to me a lot. It shortened my day down to about 12 ish miles, which isn't a ton, but it made a big difference in the crowds at half dome. So the most famous part it's to talk about half dome, a little bit more. The most famous part of the Half Dome hike is the ascent up the cables. So to tell you what that is. And since I don't have like pictures to show you here, go Google half dome cables just to get a sense of what I'm talking about. There are, so there are two metal cables that are like staircase railings almost, but you know, so they're like cables, there's no steps. It's very steep, but the cables allow hikers to climb up this last 400 feet to the summit without like rock climbing equipment. I almost feel like I'd rather rock climb it. Because I'd be tied in with a rope or secured with a rope in case of falling and this was not. Since, uh, it's a little more history since 19 19, relatively few people have fallen and died on the cables. But injuries aren't uncommon if people are not being responsible. This climb is no joke. Like, it's not it's it was scarier than I thought it even was going to be. Even if you're acting responsible and happen to have like a little misstep, that's like, it can be really dangerous. So more on that later. Also, Half Dome really hard to get a permit to climb an advance. Um, there's a lottery you can enter in the spring and it's super competitive. A lot of people apply for permits. I forget how many they give out a day, but if you don't get a lottery spot, you can watch for cancellations on the recreation.gov website, try to snag last minute slots a week in advance, or you can show up the day of, actually the permits for halftime or a few days. I think it's two days in advance. Or you can show up at the day of, on a, at a wilderness station in Yosemite and try to grab one that wasn't used. So if you're camping and you can snag a wilderness permit, you also have the option to add on half dome. So it can be a little confusing to navigate all this. And if you are a backpacker and you're interested in going to somebody and doing this, please email me and we can chat about it cause I don't want to get beyond the scope of what I'm really meaning to talk about here today. but yeah, that was my first hurdle. Figuring out the permit system. Um, and since I had missed the lottery window, like back in. It was March or April, figuring out what my options were. It was a little confusing, but I figured that out and, I was able to snag a back country permit a week before my trip. Uh, right when they were released on recreation.gov. So I had already booked flights, so I had back up plans and all that stuff. Again, if you need any tips for, if you're interested in getting into backpacking and you are, you know, wanting to figure out, like, how do I plan these things? Just hit me up and we can chat. But i had all these backup plans in case i didn't get the back country or Half Dome permits. But the real reason why i'm talking about this today is to tell you a little bit about the actual experience backpacking and climbing half dome and then i will share with you some of the great takeaways I had from doing this epic adventure. So hopefully for some of you, this trip recap might be more information than you really care about. The lessons might be really more what you care about, but I'm going to talk about the trip anyway, because I know some of you listening, like are interested in, you know, doing adventure type things. And so I do want to share that part of the experience as well. Yeah, I'll tell you a little bit about the experience. So I had grand plans of getting to Yosemite around like 4:00 PM. And my initial plan was to camp. Long story why decided not to do that, but, it's a good thing because my flight. Uh, it was delayed. My connecting flight was delayed, so I didn't actually get to Yosemite till like 9:30 PM. So anyway, I got to Yosemite, had to drive through a lot of those roads in the dark, which was a little, little unnerving. But got there, got settled. And then, since I didn't get there early enough, I wasn't able to pick up my back country permit. And half don't permit, because the ranger stations were closed. So I had to do that the next morning, which was ended up being fine because my first day of backpacking wasn't really that long. It was only like about five miles. So, that all worked out. So I'll spare you all the details of just getting up to half dome. Except it was like five miles to get to my campsite. And then I camped overnight. I, as usual, I slept really terrible. The sky was beautiful. Amazing. But the next morning I woke up really early and I had it up to. To do that scary climb. Yeah, so. Here we go talking about that part of it. It's only about three and a half miles from camp to Half Dome and it's a relatively gentle climb. But it's all uphill. So there really was no break from up from the moment I started hiking. The day before, too. But anyway, the way Half Dome works is you, you know, in the trees in the woods, it's kind of an easy a nice path. And then you get to, this. This, uh, it's called the sub dome. And so in the sub dome, it's Rocky and it's above the tree line. It's very steep. And they've like carved steps out of the stone. So you at least have like that to climb, but they're like switchbacks. So it's really strenuous. Thankfully, I was able to leave my heavy pack at my camp. So I just had a little day pack. And I don't even know how far it is with that part of it, but it's very steep. It felt like a long time, but it was pretty, so that was good. So when I reached the top of the sub dome, There was half dome. Like the top, the top of it. And there I saw the cables that I talked about earlier. And I took one, look at those things and I was like, hell no. There is no way I'm doing that. I just, there was no, there was no damn way. I looked at that was like, no. So I sat on a rock and I kind of like, just looked at it, you know, asking myself like, if I'd be okay, I was so excited to get this permit... would I be okay if I chose not to complete that last 400 foot climb to reach the summit. I really thought that I'd be okay with it at that moment. I was, and I was really prepared to recognize my limitations, quote, unquote, and to really let myself off the hook. So I sat and I contemplated it more and more and more. And the more I contemplated it, the more I felt comfortable not doing it. And then I talked to some other people who were like, yeah, not doing that. I don't want to die today. So I felt like, okay, that's good. Like I feel validated and that's all right. And then as I sat there, I was looking at this whole, just taking it in, right. I still, I was just feeling like adrenaline, even though I wasn't even doing it. I started to just think like, okay, well, what if, what if I could do that? And this is much younger girl who was sitting next to me, asked me if I was going to do it, or if I was going to, if I was waiting for someone to come back down. And so I shared with her that I just didn't think it was, I didn't think it was going to do it. It was a bit much for me. And I was thinking I would just skip it today. And then she shared with me that she had tried it, but there was a point where the incline got like a little, well, a lot steeper and she just didn't have the upper body strength to pull herself up anymore. So she came back down. So she said,"You could always turn around if you don't like it, maybe you should try it and see if you like it." I'm like, go look at you. Coaching me. But she did have a point, like I could always turn around so I could always, or I could you know, I could give myself permission to turn around if I was, felt like too much, or if I didn't feel safe. You know, and really if, when I thought about it, one of my favorite things to talk about is failing ahead of time. Like if you're, if you're not willing to put yourself out of your comfort zone, you're just really failing ahead of time, which isn't always a bad thing. Like it's sometimes it's fine, but you know, you kind of have to check in with yourself on your reasons for not doing it. So. I don't know that I really wanted to just fail ahead of time. I kind of, it was important to me to try. So, you know, I weighed the options. I'd come all this way I bought special shoes. I had hiked nearly four miles that morning. Just climb this damn thing. The pictures I had seen from the top looked EPIC phenomenal. Wouldn't that be a great feeling? Sure. I checked in with some of my values, courage check. Adventure, check. Freedom. Getting to the top of the dome would feel pretty amazing. Check. Growth. This would stretch me more than I've been stretched in a good while. So check. Authenticity. This is what I do. I go big or I go home. I, it would be an integrity with myself to at least try it. Check. As I grabbed hold of those cables for the first time I felt this fear wash over me, like, nothing like it. And I just took my first steps anyway. And I want to highlight that last thing. I'm going to say it again. I felt the fear wash over me and I took my first steps anyway. So to give you an idea of what these cables look like. Picture a stairway with cables for railings and then every 12 feet or so there are poles holding the cables up. And then there's a wooden two by four that forms like a step kind of, and between those planks is just plain old, granite. Worn smooth by thousands of feet to have climbed this path before me. Climbing the cables was really mostly an upper body phenomenon an upper body adventure. I was surprised how little my lower body was even involved. I had great gloves I don't want to say great, but I had gloves. You have to have gloves for that. But anyway, I made it up a little ways and I thought, okay, well, this isn't so bad. So I kept going. Don't look up. Don't look down. And I knew exactly when I reached the point that that girl I talked to mentioned. The climb was already steep, but oh my God, that this took it to a new level. I like, I just paused for a bit to kind of get my wits about me managing the emotions I was feeling of sheer fear and terror. And the physical sensation of the adrenaline rush that's typically not my friend. I don't really like that feeling of an adrenaline rush. But I made this final push. My arms were like jello, my hands and fingers were tired. Pushed to the top. So the top of half dome is at 8,800 feet and it's about 5,000 feet or so above the Yosemite valley floor. So, as you can imagine from that vantage point, the view is pretty epic. You know, I celebrated with some other people at the top, took time to drink a bunch of water and refuel as I was completely spent from that. I was still shaking from the adrenaline of that experience. So I spent some time taking in the view and, and just the accomplishment. I was so proud of myself. I did it when I was so scared. And then I felt like, okay, it's time to go back. I've got to make it all the way back to my car today. It's time to go. So I traded the terror I felt about climbing up for the terror of descending. And in many ways, this felt scarier to me. A lot of people were coming down, going backwards. So I started that way and felt like this is, it's not so bad. Just don't look down, I told myself. By the time I was descending though, halftone was getting pretty crowded. And that meant that there were a lot more people trying to come up the cables at this point. So there was a lot of negotiating getting around people is it's not very wide and the way up is the way down. So at one point there was a section where there wasn't one of those wooden two by four planks for quite a longer stretch. And there's this big step down in the granite. And I've mentioned before the granite it's, it's smooth. It's not, you know, there's not a lot of like anything to grab onto with your sole of your shoe. So the grippy shoes are important, but in this one spot, it was a little more slippery. And I was trying to negotiate around all these other people. It was a long line of like 15 people, at least probably. And I got a little flustered and then my worst fear happened. My foot... I slipped and I fell on my butt and I kept sliding on my butt a little bit until I was able to stop myself on one of the poles. Like I'm straddling a pole. It was super embarrassing. There's a line, like I said, there's a line of like 15 people watching me waiting to come up. And I can't even begin to explain like, oh my God, I was like terrified, embarrassed. I was an anxious for like trying to get up. Gratitude I wasn't dying. I didn't like slide off the side of this thing. And then adrenaline, but like mostly I was just super embarrassed. I had thoughts like everyone's probably thinking, how oh my God, that old lady up there shouldn't be doing this what an idiot. Yeah. Even coaches have inner mean girls. But you know, I managed to get situated. And then this lady who was at the front of this line of people told me-she leaned over and she was like, I'm amazed at how remarkably calm you stayed through that whole thing. And i was just like well what i didn't i didn't think it was going to do much good to panic so i certainly didn't feel calm but or maybe i did i really don't remember So anyway, I made it back down took some time to collect myself. Made sure i didn't put my pants just kidding. Have another snack and some water and then I had a long hike back down to my car. I did 12 and a half miles that day was exhausting. Exhilarating but exhausting. So now for the lessons this is what you've been waiting for probably. So many lessons i learned In this trip. Mostly in the climbing of half dome. So I'm going to go through them. Not in any particular order. I'm not saving like the best one for last or anything like that. But, the first one is that. There are lots of things in life that will scare you. So just do it scared. If you don't. You'll stay small. You might have a nice view where you're at. It might be nice and comfy. But what if you're missing out on something bigger? So I do want to caveat this. There's nothing wrong at all with not being ready to take that step. Like, okay so when I was at the base of half dome, looking at those cables going, oh my God, hell no. You know, if I wouldn't have felt ready to take that step, if I would've felt like, you know, maybe I wasn't strong enough or, you know, maybe I didn't have the right shoes on, or, you know, if there was something that legitimately was like, yeah, I'm just not ready to go there yet. That's okay. And you can give yourself permission to not do that. But it is also worth considering that you know, you may learn something from stepping outside of your comfort zone. You may find a better view. I have a client I'm working with right now, who was working on, leaving a relationship. And the relationship was like, it was the love of her life, but the situation was not serving her. And for a long time, she just wasn't really ready to take the step of leaving it. Cause it was really uncomfortable and she, you know, she knew that there might be a better like, you know, view or a better situation on the other side of it, but she just wasn't quite ready to take that step. And then eventually, This past week, she came to a session and told me that she just decided that it was time and she wants more, she deserves more. And so she took that step. It was really scary. For her that was kind of like me stepping onto those, you know, to taking my first step up those cables. It was kind of scary and I didn't really know if I was going to be able to do it. And I had no idea, I mean, I kind of had an idea cause I'd seen pictures, but I had no idea what that view at the top was going to be like. Did I know if it'd be worth it? I didn't know. Like, but you know, I thought, well, there's only one way to find out. So I was terrified, guys. I was terrified. I was just completely terrified. I can't even communicate to you how terrified I was. But I just, I did it. I just decided if I don't do this, this, this is the only thing standing between me and doing it... it's nothing safety related. It's, it's all in my head. So I think that's where you kind of have to be aware is what is it that's stopping you from taking that step. And you have to ask yourself those questions and you have to get really honest with yourself about that. So the second lesson is just really in how much growth there is in doing something that's scary to you. You know, doing it scared. The growth that you can experience in. This is like a measurable. You can come out of it, having learned so much about yourself and what you're made of. When I sat at the bottom of Half Dome. The thing that initially went through my brain was like, I can't do that. It's too scary. It's too scary. Have I mentioned how terrifying it was. I'm still just like amazed I did that. Anyway, but, in doing it scared, like you learn so much about just like what kind of resources you actually possess? Right. So I could have given up. I could have been like, yeah, it's just way too scary. I might hurt myself. Whatever. And that those are valid. Those are totally valid concerns and reasons not to do something. But one thing I learned, or one part of the growth that I experienced was really even just building a little more confidence in my ability to do something that was scary while feeling terrified. You know, I learned that I could do it. I mean, I knew, you know, I've done the stuff like this before, so I knew I probably had it in me, but it's just a little bit more confidence towards those things that are so out of your comfort zone. And also, I don't know that I would climb half dome again. I don't know, maybe I would. But I don't really need to now, but, if I was going to say with a group of people, maybe I would do it. I'm not sure. But it just like, it builds my confidence in that... okay, yeah. When something is really scary, I do have the capability to like, at least start it and then make a decision on whether or not I can keep going. I also learned what it felt like to give myself that permission to turn around if I didn't like it. Right. So there are a lot of things that I experienced that contributed to the growth. Part of the growth actually too, was in giving myself permission to like, I'm going to use the word quit. I don't like that word, but in giving myself permission to turn around and decide it wasn't for me that day, that's a big step of growth for me also, because that's not something that's been in my DNA for a very long time. Like backing off of something to me would, would have felt like failure several years ago. So that too, like that growth and just saying, Hey, I can say, no, not today. And it's not a failure. It just is. It's a circumstance. No big deal. Along those lines, lesson number three is you're capable of way more than you think you are. So always remember that when you're afraid of something. Sometimes fear is a really valid thing. And it is really protecting us from danger. But a lot of times, and most of the time I would venture to say, The fear that we have, it's thoughts we have about a situation, but it's the thoughts that we have based on the lens we see the world through. And that lens is made up of all the stories and experiences and, you know, things we've learned throughout our entire life. So sometimes our brain is giving us false information there. If you've ever heard that quote before, like it's a saying that fear stands for false evidence appearing real. It's totally, that's what, what fear is a lot of the time. So like remembering that and just knowing that okay, what I can actually do is way more than my brain sometimes gives me credit for. It's a great lesson to keep in mind. Okay. So the fourth lesson. And this is something that. I mean, I've known this for a long time and I, you know, say this all the time, but you know, it's just really always just think about putting one foot in front of the other. You know, all you need is the next right step. You don't need to worry about the whole. You know, the whole climb. You just need the next right step. When I was on those cables, I mentioned at the beginning of the episode that you know how they're constructed. So they're the cable railings. And then those wooden two by four planks that are like every 12 feet or so. And so literally I was like going from plank to plank. Like, I just need to get to that plank. And I kept telling myself, like, don't look down, don't look up. Just get to the next plank. So that was like the perfect way to approach that. Because it was such a small, manageable chunk. Whereas if I had been looking up the whole time, I think, I don't know. It was a been way more discouraging and, and way more like tiring, probably. So, you know, bite off those small chunks. Don't, don't take the whole thing. Ask yourself what's my next right step? And something, and it can be tiny. The fifth lesson is similar. It's related. But that lesson is that small steps add up to big leaps. A lot of times, we don't give ourselves enough credit for the little steps that we're able to take. But they all add up. You know, it can be the tiniest, if you think about like, a marathon, for example, I've done a marathon before, done lots of half marathons. A marathon is its own beast. You know, or I've done a lot of half iron man triathlons. And with those long races like that, like you can't think about the whole thing at one time, you have to just take, you know, like the last lesson is take those, you know, take it, putting one foot in front of the other. My third half iron man triathlon, I think... I got to the run and I had gone way too fast on the bike. So my body was not in great shape for the run. It was hot. And by mile three, I felt so awful. I felt sick. And, I remember my ex-husband and my friends... They were there cheering me on and they were at that mile three. Marker. And they were like, you know, cheering and, you know, trying to pump me up. And I just remember saying, I don't know if I can do this. And literally that, that whole time was putting one foot in front of the other and those small little steps. At times they were really shuffled tiny steps. They added up to 13.1 miles. So, you know, there you go. So just that, you know, keep at it. Small steps. The next lesson, lesson number six, the view from the top is worth the climb. So, you know, we always think what we have is so great. Or a lot of times we do. We have what we have is like, it's safe. Right? We know it, even if it's not really that great, like our brain wants to make it into something great because it's comfy. But the reality of it is that we don't really know what the view at the top is until we get there. So like you kind of have to ask yourself and I'm a big fan of, this is like, when your brain says, I don't want to do that. Because I'm just fine here. You also have to ask yourself, well, what if I'm missing out on something bigger? It doesn't mean that you have to do it, but it is always great to unhook from those feelings of safety and fear and then actually be able to, you know, intentionally weigh, from a more neutral standpoint, weigh everything. Because that view at the top. It might be way better. You might like it more. You know, or it might be just such an awe-inspiring experience. Like when I got to the top of half dome. I was like, oh my God, I can't believe that I almost didn't do this. Because it was so amazing, like it was, It, I can't even describe to you. It was just this expansive. Like, I felt like I was on top of the world. Really great experience, uh, just felt very freeing. And I was also just so proud of myself for doing it. So there was that part of it... there's the visual view but also like just the, the mental view in the physical view of like all of these things I almost didn't experience because I was almost too afraid to do this. Again, It would have been fine if I would have been too afraid. It's okay. That would have been okay. So I just have to keep saying that it's not bad. It's just like, if I would've let my fear get the better of me, I wouldn't have experienced this. So it's always just a question or something to consider when you're on a journey that's difficult. If you think about just, uh, you know, uh, a hard journey in life. Like, so like this whole halftone thing is a metaphor for a lot of life things. You know, if you think about yourself being on a journey like emotionally or just even physically of, you know, you're having a hard time... Knowing that like, if I just keep going, there's a better view eventually. There's a better view at a certain point. Like the better view is worth the climb. So lesson number seven is mistakes will happen. Get up dust off your butt. And begin again. So I told you about my little slip. On half dome. And I don't know that that was necessarily, I wouldn't necessarily call it a mistake. I should've been going down totally backwards. probably. Although other people, a lot of people were going down. These cables backwards. But not everybody was. So I can't really call it a mistake, but I did, you know, I slipped. That wasn't the plan. So, you know, things won't go according to plan. You just got to get up. Just start again. That was one of my favorite things, one of my yoga teachers in the past would always talk about. Falling out of a yoga pose. And then you just begin again. No big deal. Like it's, it's that's, you know, you get up against an edge, you fall and you just start again. So it's important to just remember that. That's always going to happen in life. There's no one that gets through life with no mistakes. So the next one is this is lesson number eight, and that lesson is always give yourself permission to stop something you've started. Just starting it is courageous. So that one, you know, I keep caveating through all of these things. Like it's okay. Not to follow through on something. Either because you know, you just don't have it in you to get over that fear. You know, you've tried it you've started. Or you're just not ready. You know, maybe you're not equipped yet. The point is you've unhooked from the feeling of fear. So you're not, you're not letting fear, just, you know, you're not letting your brain give you all sorts of false, false evidence appearing real. You're not letting your brain dictate with all these thoughts that just aren't true. You're unhooking from it. You're weighing all the evidence, you know, you're looking at it objectively saying, yeah, you know what? It's just not for me yet. That's okay. That's really okay. Or the other thing too is maybe. Like you start something and then you stop it because, it's just not really aligned for you anymore. Like with your values and what's important to you. Like that's okay. So just always remember that just starting something as courageous and it's never a failure to decide you're not, you don't want to finish it. It's okay to do that. And then number nine. The last one I have for you today. Is, just do the thing life's too short not to that's my grandpa's Swenson's quote by the way. And, regrets, not something that most of us really like to have. So, I really think that if I had left Half Dome without climbing it, even though I said to myself, You know, when I was ready to walk away from it, even though I said, no, I think I'm good with not doing it. I really think I would have regretted it. I mean, I flew from Maryland to California. I drove four hours to Yosemite from the airport. And then, you know, I backpacked in to camp. I camped, then I hiked up to half dome. I looked at it. That was a lot. That was a long way to go, to get to the base of half dome to not do it. So I think I really would have regretted that. Again, if I would've felt, if I would've started that and I would've felt like, yeah, I just don't have the strength today to do it, you know, I wasn't feeling safe, then I would have, I would have had a good, solid, you know, unhooked from the fear, reason that, that wasn't a good idea that day. Or if I would have just decided, yeah, I don't really care about it, that would have been okay. But, you know, I think I really would've regretted it and I also have, like, I talk about values sometimes on the show and my values. It was just really aligned with all my values, adventure, you know, Courage. Freedom. That feeling at the top was so just freeing. I felt like all my problems were just like, they were laying at the bottom of the valley floor, 5,000 feet below me. it's just, it felt it was an amazing feeling. So just remembering that, like you have this one life and we really have to be connected with what's important to us. How we find meaning in life. And we really need to find opportunities to align with that. Cause that like, that's what gives us purpose. You know, people talk about finding, you know, what's my purpose. And that is where the answer to that question lies Where do you find meaning in your life? Where do you feel alive? And that's the stuff you got to do, even if it's scary. So you've got to align yourself with the things that make you feel purpose and feel alive. Like you're actually living your life, not just existing. So. Go do that. And go do it scared. All right. My friends, I hope that was helpful. It was a longer episode for me today, but I just really wanted to share. Details of the trip out there for my fellow adventures and also to share those great takeaways that I had from climbing half dome in Yosemite. So, again, if you have any questions at all about backpacking or just even hiking or camping, adventuring, it's one of my passions. So reach out. I'd love to chat about it with you. I love chatting about that stuff with anyone. And finally, if you'd like to support the show, please go leave me a review and a five-star rating. It's really the best way to let other people know about the show. And, that's what we want. Right. So, again, hope this was helpful friends and I will see you next time.