Ep 108: A Look Back at 2022 - Lessons Learned

Welcome back to Real, Brave, & Unstoppable!

The new year is approaching quickly and over the next two episodes, I'm sharing the reflection and intention-setting process I go through each year to plan.

In this episode you'll learn how I take a look back at the year to glean lessons learned as well as see how much progress I made toward fulfilling my intentions and goals. It's a great process to go through to help you celebrate your wins, and identify areas for growth!

Stay tuned for part 2, dropping next week, for a peek into my new year planning process!

Happy Holidays!

=== RESOURCES ===

Enlist Kortney's help in planning your intentions and goals for 2023. Accountability is everything! Click HERE to schedule a no-obligation call to see what that might look like for you.

Click HERE to download a FREE workbook, How to Create a Life you Love

Transcript

0:51

Well, hello everyone. And welcome back to real, brave and unstoppable. I feel like I'm always saying the time flies, but I think we can all agree that this time of the year that feels especially true. So for those of you who are loyal listeners, my apologies for the change in release schedule, or maybe I should say, lack of, really schedule for the podcast. I'm just kind of revamping like my schedule and balancing a lot more these days. So just trying to be really compassionate with myself as I create content for these episodes. There are a lot of lessons in this for me. Self-compassion for one. Another is really just quality over quantity. I'd rather bring you quality content rather than rushing to put something out there that isn't useful. Because I realized that, you know, 30 minutes or so of your time is important and I don't want to put something that's not interesting or useful out there. I don't want you to waste your time, in other words. There are many other things I'm learning from giving myself grace with my schedule as well. And you know, I'd invite you to think about places in your life where you can learn lessons like this too. And speaking of lessons, I'm starting my year end reflection and planning for the year ahead. I try to do this. I do this every year. And I'd like to look back at the end of each year and see which goals I achieved, which ones I didn't and why. And then just look at some of the other milestones and lessons that I've learned over the year. And 2022 was full of lessons and milestones. So I thought it would take some time to share a little bit with you so you can get a little window into my process for year end reflection, and then next week, we'll look into the future and I'll share with you my process for planning out my year, setting intentions and things like that. So the first thing I like to look at are the intentions or goals that I set for my year last year at the beginning of 2022. I like to just kind of look back at those. And if you participated in my goals with soul challenge last year, you got to see how I like to start my intention setting or goal setting process. With feelings and values. So what's important to me and ultimately how I want to feel. Because the reason we do anything is because we think we'll feel a certain way by doing it. So I like to start there. And last year, I knew that I wanted to feel freedom, integrity, or authenticity, peace and joy. So I really set my goals and intentions around that. Some of my goals were pretty lofty and I knew that going in. Particularly around revenue in my business. And it's funny because in terms of income, I met my goal. However, I did not meet it in the way I thought I would. So. There was a really, really good lesson in that, which is to be flexible. You know, don't marry yourself to one way of looking at things. Always be on the lookout for the unexpected. Leave space for that. Be open to new things, new ways.'cause you never know what will cross your path that will help you reach your goal. Even if it's not reached in the way you thought you would reach it. The other big goal I did reach last year was to lead my first retreat. It was such a big undertaking and it felt amazing to be part of the growth of the people who attended it. I also learned so much about myself and about what showing up as a leader means. That was a really big lesson and growth experience for me. There were a few other goals that I didn't reach, like paying off debt. Oh, wow. Or reaching a thousand subscribers for my newsletter. And if I really look at how those aligned with my desired feelings, I didn't really spend enough energy looking at how paying off my debt would align with my desired feelings. Had I done that I might've seen that freedom and peace could result from having no debt, obviously. Right? And with my email list, I just didn't put in the consistent effort I needed to in order to build visibility. And I'm okay with that because I know that I didn't, you know, I didn't put in that work that I needed to do. So there was a little bit maybe of a lack of a plan in that way. And, you know, like I said, I'm okay with that. Even if it was just a fraction of what I wanted to add to my, email subscriber list, I still did add subscribers. So, you know, that's, that's a good thing. Some is better than none. Right? And I think what I'm really getting at there is, I don't know that I had a strong enough why. It's not that I don't have a strong enough why, I think I just didn't take the time to really get to the heart of what my why for setting those goals was. And we'll talk more about that next week when we talk about planning. The next year out. So one of my desired feelings was joy. And that really corresponded to my intention to take my kids on a trip over the summer. We visited family in Minnesota and got to see my Grandma Swenson one last time before she passed away in September. And it really did bring that desired feeling of joy. And it also brought another feeling of just connectedness, being connected. And family is a value of mine. So it really tapped into that as well. Some of my other goals centered around wellness and health. I did really well improving on my meditation habit and it did really bring me a lot of peace and just calm. And it also helped me connect with my higher self, bringing a more solid connection to my authenticity. And I also got much better about drinking more water. And I didn't do so well on cutting back on my alcohol intake. I really like my wine friends. So that's something I'd like to continue to work on. In 2023. So that's the first part is just reflecting on goals. So there, you kind of saw a little snapshot of my reflection. I didn't go into a lot of detail there, but you get the idea. And the other thing that I like to do is just to go back and take a look at the overall big picture of the year. Like what things happened, where they joyful? Are they more difficult? How did I handle them? So for example, last year, I received additional certifications in transformational coaching and retreat leading. And it was a program that started in the summer of 2021 and ended in May of 2022. And there were several milestones along the way in that program that contributed to my own growth. But I would say that a couple of big takeaways from that program, aside from the knowledge I gained related to my We're related to taking in information and parsing it out, sort of to keep what fits for me and just leave the rest. There were a lot of really great things about that program. But there were also some things that happen that rubbed me the wrong way. So I really learned to rise above that and appreciate what fit and incorporate it, integrate it into my work and into who I am, and then just let the rest go. So I thought that was a really good lesson. So last year, I also set a goal of going on a backpacking trip. I haven't ever backpacked before, and I really didn't have a lot of extra money to buy equipment, but I did accumulate equipment little by little... Sales at REI and stuff like that. And I didn't actually reach the goal of going on a backpacking trip, but getting back to my talk about desired feelings, it didn't really feel right to push it. And things just didn't line up for me to do it. You know, there was REI offered like a group backpacking trip near me on the Appalachian trail and went out in the Shenandoah valley. Um, and it was like a, just an overnight like intro to backpacking kind of thing. And they provide everything for you. And it's not that expensive. And I thought about doing it, but you know, it just, the timing didn't work out and yeah, things just didn't line up. So I just put a pin in that one for, for next year when the time does feel right. Um, as my dad would say, timing is everything. So I'm just going to go with that. I also had a lot of bumps in my relationship over the past year. And I had some major bumps in how I handled those bumps. I went through a time of really high anxiety and distrust, not being able to communicate my feelings very effectively. Side note, I have a partner who's also not the best at feelings anyway. So even if I do communicate my feelings effectively, it's really still hard... Like relationships tend to be. So I took it upon myself to just take a step back, focus on what I could control, which is me. And then learn everything I could about communicating effectively in a relationship. Right now, currently is a time of a lot of tension with my partner. This time of year. I mean, for so many people, and this time of the year is always a really difficult time for us just based on some things that he went through at this time of the year in his life. And I can say that I'm really proud of the work I've done to just learn how to be with my emotions and pause before reacting. You know, to, uh, choose my response. To be more careful to just actively listen, not just wait for my chance to get my 2 cents in. Right. And Validate and communicate how I feel and what I want without getting sucked into the drama of a fight or argument. And my perfect? Oh, hell no, no, absolutely not. We all get triggered, right? It can be really hard, but I have noticed a lot of growth in that area for myself, and I've set some really good boundaries around what I am and what I'm not willing to tolerate. So that's been really good and I'm proud of what I've accomplished in that realm over the year. In may I traveled to Orlando for my certification retreat. It was so intense and totally exhausted me. But it was nice to be with my colleagues for a few days, doing the work that really gives me purpose. So there were three big takeaways from that retreat. First first one, I learned that I show up most effectively and potently when I'm just being myself. Not worrying about how I'm going to going to say things or having to have everything all figured out ahead of time. Winging it is actually a strength of mine. And while, sometimes it gives me like some stress to think about winging it, it always works. It's always better. I always bring something that's more authentic and true and aligned with who I am to you know, the people I'm speaking to, or, you know, if I'm facilitating something. So I learned that. I also learned that you don't have to accept someone else's opinion of you. It seems really simple, but there was a point where my mentor pointed toward my way of being as being inauthentic. And I felt so deflated by that. But looking back, I can really see that it's a trust thing. When there is a little bit of distrust, I hold a little bit back. Right. I might have some little defense mechanisms, like, you know, nervously laughing or something like that. And, or, you know, making jokes or something like that. But. When there's a little bit of distrust or feeling a little bit unsafe, like, you know, emotionally, I do tend to hold a little back. Like most of us do. And now though I can discern that that's totally normal. And I'm okay with that. As Brene Brown would say, and not in exact words, but the people who get your most vulnerable, authentic self have to be in your, like, You know, trusted circle. They have to earn it. The last takeaway from that trip. Is that... And I apologize in advance for those of you who love Disney. But the last takeaway is that Disney world isn't so bad. Let me explain. I've really never loved Disney world. It's just a lot of crowds, waiting in lines, hot pavement, long days. It's really just not my style. One of the activities during the retreat was to spend a day at the magic kingdom. And I was so not excited about it, but I ended up having such a great time. And, learned some things in the process. So there's some, you know, a longer stories I won't get into right now, but mostly I learned that, you know, it's not really the thing, but it's the people that you're doing the thing with, and just the mindset that you bring to it that will make it great. So another thing, my son, he started his last year of college in August. He's graduating in may. He's like a speed... Speed graduator he really should probably be a junior. He really should be a junior, but he's graduating. But in August we moved him into a new apartment and he's less than an hour away, but you know, my mama heart was still breaking. Because where did that time actually go? He's like such a grownup now. But this was a lesson for me in letting go, but also savoring the moments, you know, he's in the marching band at university of Maryland. And I love, I love watching the marching band. I love going to watch them perform at the football games. And I'm so proud of him just with where he's at, after all he's been through. Uh, he brings me a lot of joy and I just I'm so proud of him. And I'm really savoring the moments where he's in between living like a totally independent life but still leaning on me for something. So I'm really just enjoying that time. So my grandma passed away this year. She was my last living grandparent and her birthday.. I'm recording this on tuesday the 20th and her birthday was yesterday. So I've been thinking a lot about her. Uh, I think I knew this lesson already, but it just really reinforced the things aren't black and white. She was so ready to leave this life and go meet my grandpa and heaven. They were a rare occurrence. Like they were totally so in love and just really cute. Cute old couple, always holding hands and right up until he passed away a few years ago. I think we also learned how important family is. We kind of assumed that once my grandpa passed away, that grandma wouldn't really hang around for too long. But family is so important to her and she loved every moment she could soak up with us. Savoring the moments. She really did. Love you grandma. I learned other lessons this year, too. And a few of them are, learning to be a parent at different stages as your kids grow up is hard. I'm sure a lot of you can resonate with that. But as long as you love them up and savor the moments, find the joy in them, it will be just fine. So. Stay in the present, I guess is what that is saying. The next one is that not everybody is ready to release control. Sometimes you need to meet people where they're at, even when it's hard, even when you want them to be further ahead than they are. The next one is sometimes you just have to jump off the cliff and trust that the parachute will appear. You really do have everything you need inside of you to handle whatever comes of it. And you really just have to trust that. The next one is you really can. Choose how you want to show up. Sometimes you need to show up a certain way and it's really hard... You don't feel like it, but you know, you really can decide to show up a different way. In a more effective way. And sometimes it's required of you, you know, and you'll be really proud of yourself for choosing your path. Rather than being at the mercy of the circumstances. The next one is really that communicating effectively in relationships is really hard. And it's a skill. Practice makes not perfect. Practice makes progress. So it'd be really patient and kind to your partner. I also learned that money stresses me out. And I still have a lot of work to do around that. Anyone a money coach? And then work on trusting your intuition. There's a lot of wisdom there and it will always serve you. And then finally we really can do hard things friends. You can do hard things. I can do hard things. We're just capable of so much more than we realize. So that is it. That's it for my 2022 look back. A short little sweet episode for you today. Some of the lessons that I learned and maybe just by hearing kind of how I went through it. You might have some ideas for how you can go through your 20 22 and, uh, just look at kind of what you accomplished and the lessons that you learned. It's a really kind of a fun process and you'll learn a lot from it. I promise. So next week I'll be back... I promise, with my look ahead to 2023 and sharing how I go about planning and setting intentions and goals for the new year. So with that, I hope this was helpful. As always, I would love your feedback. Please. If you could just take a minute, only takes a minute. And whatever platform you will listen to your podcasts on. If you can go give me a rating and a review on the show, five stars is always amazing, but if you could just take a second and go do that, I would appreciate it so much. It really helps people find my show. And, you know, it's, there's so many podcasts out there it's hard to stand out. So the more reviews and ratings I have. The more visibility I'll have, and the more people I'll be able to reach with this podcast. So if you wouldn't mind taking a second to go do,that, I would greatly appreciate it. And I wish you the very happiest of holidays and I will see you next week.