In this week's episode, I talk about my Grandpa, who passed away last December. He was my hero and a role model of the way I appreciate life as I grow old.
My Grandpa was able to find amazement and wonder in everything in life. He was the most positive person I have ever known. It was his positivity and his appreciation for life that allowed him to live such a long, full life.
My Grandpa used to say something that makes me smile every time I hear it. When he was amazed at something (which was often), he would say "Wow! Just WOW!".
In this episode, I talk about how looking at your world from the perspective of WOW can help you really start to feel better about your life - similar to a gratitude practice.
Where can you find WOW in your life today?
Resources:
Want more?
For more information about the podcast, visit www.realbraveunstoppable.com. To learn more about your host, Kortney Rivard, visit www.kortneyrivard.com
Follow Kortney on Social media:
Instagram
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In this week's episode, I talk about my Grandpa, who passed away last December. He was my hero and a role model of the way I appreciate life as I grow old.
My Grandpa was able to find amazement and wonder in everything in life. He was the most positive person I have ever known. It was his positivity and his appreciation for life that allowed him to live such a long, full life.
My Grandpa used to say something that makes me smile every time I hear it. When he was amazed at something (which was often), he would say "Wow! Just WOW!".
In this episode, I talk about how looking at your world from the perspective of WOW can help you really start to feel better about your life - similar to a gratitude practice.
Where can you find WOW in your life today?
Resources:
Want more?
For more information about the podcast, visit www.realbraveunstoppable.com. To learn more about your host, Kortney Rivard, visit www.kortneyrivard.com
Follow Kortney on Social media:
Instagram
Facebook
Episode 13: Finding the WOW in your life
[00:00:16] Well, hey there, friends. Thanks for tuning in today. This is episode number 13.
[00:00:29]So, one comment that I get a lot from my clients and potential clients is that they feel like they have a lot to be thankful for in their lives, but they really have this feeling of just "meh" or they feel "blah". They're just kind of going through the motions, or as I like to call it, just spinning along in the hamster wheel of life.
[00:00:48] Does that resonate with you? Same ol, same ol - that kind of stuff. There's this feeling of living life for everyone but themselves. I work with mostly women and a lot of these women are moms. So, they've been in this mode of checking the boxes over the years - finding a partner, getting married, buying a house, maybe moving up the ladder in their careers, having kids, juggling everything. And I hear a lot of the time that they feel guilty for wanting more out of their lives or for just wanting something for themselves. And I've been there too. It's like I said, you have this feeling of, Oh my gosh... like I have so much... People tell me, oh my gosh, you're so lucky.
[00:01:32] And here I am - I have beautiful children. I have a beautiful home - or I did, but I mean, I still do, but I lost that beautiful home that I'm talking about in my divorce. But, you know, you have all these things that from the outside looking in, it's amazing. You should be so thankful.
[00:01:48] And then when you think to yourself, well, all that's great. I mean, I am really thankful for that, but there's something missing. And so you get in this mode where it's just like day after day, you're just kind of going through the same routine and you start to feel a little just like I said, "meh" like a little flat, not super excited about what you're waking up to every day.
[00:02:14] And as I'm saying that I'm even feeling this like guilt for saying it. I don't really feel that way now cause I've done so much work around it, but just even saying it that there's a possibility of thinking it, it feels not great. So it's really easy to see how, if you're in that boat and you do have a lot to be thankful for, that wanting to spend some time on your own self or wanting something for yourself can be something that is charged with a lot of guilt.
[00:02:43] And next week, we're going to dig into a little bit more about why it's important to take time and spend time, spend money on caring for your yourself, but today on the show I want to dig a little bit more into this "meh" feeling or the "going through the motions" feeling. So to do that, I'm going to introduce to you someone who has made a huge impact on my life. And I only wish I could have him on the show with me, but it's my Grandpa Swenson. And he left us in December at the age of 95, but he lived a long, amazing, full life.
[00:03:17] And my Grandpa is, and always will be my number one role model of the person that I want to be like, as I get older. My grandma is pretty special too. And she's 90 years old, still living and she misses my grandpa so, so, so much. As a couple, they're also a role model for what I want in a relationship as I age too. My grandma and grandpa were like teenagers... even in their old age, you didn't see a picture of them without them holding hands. They were always holding hands, always holding hands. And my grandma often will say that their secret was that they never ever said a mean word to each other. They had so much mutual, respect for each other and so much love for each other. It was really, really special.
[00:04:04] So back to my grandpa. I could go on about my grandpa for hours. He was so amazing. He was so adventurous. He was a traveler, he was a skilled craftsman. He loved doing things with his hands. Like, he was a woodworker. He build furniture - I have several pieces that he made for me.
[00:04:25] He built a lot of the furniture in their house like china cabinets and bookshelves and coffee tables and TV stands. And he built my sister this puzzle table that has little drawers for puzzle pieces so you can move the little puzzle board around. You don't have to take up a table while you're doing the puzzle.
[00:04:46]He made my kids so many little wooden toys. For my son, he made little cars, an airplane with a propeller that would actually spin. When I did a lot of photography for kids and families he built me a couple of little toys that I used in my photography sets. I mean the list just goes on and on.
[00:05:06] But also on their property, it was very woodsy. And at one time they owned a campground and he would cut down butternut trees on their property and he'd actually make the trees into lumber. And then he'd use that to create his, woodworking, amazing things, for lack of a better way to say that.
[00:05:31] He loved gardening. He and my grandma would always be outside gardening even when he was 95, he would be outside on his knees trying to weed or do whatever. It was amazing. And also they had a fireplace that heated much of their home, but he would cut wood to supply the fireplace with wood for heating.
[00:05:54] And he would literally be, I don't know when the last time he actually cut wood was, but he was cutting wood, cutting trees down in his nineties. It was crazy.
[00:06:03] But they loved meeting new people too. They went right on several missionary trips to Ecuador with a church. It wasn't the church they belong to, but it was another local church and they went, I don't even know how many years, but I would say at least 10, they would go to Ecuador.
[00:06:22] They would do work in the orphanages there. They would build things or paint or clean, just things like that. And they actually, I mean, they were so adventurous, they would actually even go into the jungle and sleep on the ground in tents and they'd actually participate in the tribal, like, there was something called and forgive me if I'm not getting this right, cause I don't know all of the intricate details, but chicha juice, - I want to say it's fermented saliva. I think it's kinda gross, but, it's like a ritual. They're very proud of this and they passed this bowl of chicha juice around.
[00:07:02] And if you don't drink it, it's a little offensive to the tribe. So my grandma and grandpa, you know, and they just fit right in. And my grandpa later would kind of shake his head and make a face, like it was really gross, but what do you do? They would also go on these dugout boats on the Amazon, to get wherever they were going. Again, I don't know all the details, but they talked about these boats and how they're not real comfortable, but here they are like, you know, in their seventies and eighties doing this stuff, it was really amazing.
[00:07:34] When they went to Europe, they would usually go on some kind of like one time they took a cruise, and instead of going on like a cruise ship, like a normal cruise ship, they, bought tickets on a freighter.
[00:07:46] So it was a freight ship. And there was a very small handful of people that were the ship as guests, but that's what they did. There were no fancy balls, you know, it was, there was still dinner and obviously food and all that, but, it was not how we would think of a traditional cruise. But they would always talk about the people they met and how much fun the crew was to learn about. They were very into you know, meeting new people and learning about their culture. And they were very, very accepting.
[00:08:21] The thing that amazes me so much about this, is that when my grandparents would tell stories of their trips, they wouldn't talk about things or the comforts or the luxuries. They would always talk about the people they met and the connections they made. And I just think that it was it's so amazing that they were that open-minded and that interested in other people, they really traveled to have this raw experience, not just to go sightseeing.
[00:08:48]So, as I mentioned before, my grandpa, he was cutting trees down and gardening and working in the yard with my grandma into his early nineties. He stayed really, really active. And he had few, a few health problems, really. He had multiple myeloma, which is like a very slow-growing cancer. He also had an aneurysm in his heart that, he knew it was there and could have killed him at any moment. He had some pretty bad arthritis and over the years had, you know, different things come up. So he was probably really uncomfortable a lot of the time. But you would totally never know it.
[00:09:26] You'd ask my grandpa how he was feeling and he'd be just like, he'd say just great. And he'd kind of look at you like, well, how could there be any other answer?
[00:09:35] I also loved how he was so open to all different types of people. He really recognized that his way wasn't necessarily the best way. And I witnessed a genuine respect for all people from him. He and my grandma, they took care of this local lion's club park by their house. It was on the river. And they'd ride down there, they had this little golf cart, the two of them would ride down on the golf cart. It was so cute. And they'd clean up the bathrooms and the pavilion and, you know, dust off the picnic tables and whatnot, rake leaves, stuff like that.
[00:10:09] And every now and again, someone would steal a picnic table or put one in the river, which like, who does that? And he would just shake his head and he'd be like, Oh, geez. I just can't believe it. What are they thinking? You know, something like that.
[00:10:23] They owned a campground for a lot of years, which was really fun for my siblings and my cousins, and I. We used to go and camp and we'd help clean campsites. And we had a lot of fun playing in the woods and stuff. But, it was in a similar vein there too. If there were rowdy guests, he would just peacefully ask them to quiet down, and then if they had to ask them to leave, they would. But, the other cool thing is they made friends with a lot of their campers. Their "regular" campers and they had some seasonal campers. And they stayed in touch with these people long after they sold their campground. And they took care of their land, like immaculately. They had so much pride in it.
[00:11:03] They were really hard workers, and I really learned to appreciate the beauty of things through them, especially - there are a lot of like indigenous flowers, like the lady slipper, which is the state flower of Minnesota, which is where they live and I'm from, and if you haven't ever seen a lady slipper, Google it., because they're beautiful. They're really cool flowers. Or trillium or mayflowers. We used to go hunting for mayflowers in the spring.
[00:11:31]My grandpa just viewed life with this perspective of amazement and wonder, and you could feel his energy with that, like all the time. And the thing I remember most about my grandpa and you'll see, like, this is all going to tie into what I talked about at the beginning of the episode. But the thing I remember the most about my grandpa and always will is something he would say when he was amazed at something and he would say it often and it was
[00:12:02] Wow. Just WOW.
[00:12:06] It just gives me this, like tingle to even think about it. He was just, he was so amazing, But where I'm going with this, this wow factor that my grandpa had, it reminds me to see the beauty and the uniqueness in each moment. To really appreciate it and really experience it.
[00:12:27] And one of the things I've always said about my grandpa is that his attitude towards life and towards things and people is why he was able to live such a long, full life. You know, it's, as I get older, my body doesn't recover from, I'm very active...my body doesn't recover like it used to, you know, there's a lot of stiffness, a lot of aches and pains. And I think sometimes to myself - well, I don't think... I say getting old sucks and I think about my grandpa and how much pain he must have been in. And he was just like, Oh, you know, I'm fine.
[00:13:02] And he kept doing things. He didn't feel sorry for himself and sit in a chair, he kept going. He was amazed by life. He was thankful. I don't know if he actually practiced gratitude, like formally, but he was a gratitude practicer. He was full of gratitude. So that's one of the things I always say is that you know, if you have that kind of attitude, it's got to prolong your life and help you feel better in the process.
[00:13:34]But how does this whole thing about my grandpa relate to, you know, you feeling blah, or like you're going through the motions in your life? So, as I said, at the beginning in talking with a lot of women who are hovering around the big 4-0, or, you know, are into their forties and early fifties, I've learned that a lot of us feel kind of stuck in that, you know, we just feel like "meh".
[00:14:01] Okay my life is great, but it just feels the same all the time. And when am I going to get time to do something for myself or, you know, I want this, but I have to take care of so-and-so? It's just really difficult. We've thrown ourselves into checking the boxes and doing these things that we "should" do.
[00:14:20] We're focusing on taking care of everyone else. And then when it comes to time for us to take care of ourselves, we feel guilty about it. The roles of being a mom or a wife or caretaker, career woman, all that stuff. They really become our identity and separating from that is really hard.
[00:14:39]And I think a lot of women don't even realize this is why they feel that flat, blah feeling. And I really think that there's a point and I believe that everyone gets it. I could be wrong, but I believe that there's a point in our lives where we get this little shove, or sometimes it's a big shove, and I think that's the realization that we are on the hamster wheel. We're going through the same old thing every day. We kind of forget to feel alive and amazed. We forget to find that wow in our lives. And I think we all get that. I think it's a matter of if you wake up enough to realize that's what it is.
[00:15:22]
[00:15:22] And so anyway, we've been living in this little world that involves the roles we've identified with. And over time, that place becomes really comfortable, even though it maybe sucks. Or if it doesn't suck, maybe it's just kind of like, okay, yeah, it's fine. But. I just feel kind of, "meh" It becomes more and more comfortable to the point that that comfort zone becomes really big and it takes a lot more courage, or it takes bigger steps to get to the edge of the comfort zone then it once did. We get a lot more afraid to dip into this unknown territory. And if we stay in this place, we're totally stuck. We don't challenge ourselves. We don't grow. And the only way to move towards the edge of your comfort zone is to really tackle that "meh" feeling, to really look at why you're stuck.
[00:16:12] And most people are stuck because they're afraid in some way - afraid to do something. They don't know how to, or, you know, they're afraid of the uncertainty that comes with trying something new. For example, if you're a stay at home mom, maybe you're craving something more now that your kids have gotten a little older and they're in school.
[00:16:31] So you have your days a little freer, but you know, you've been out of the workforce for quite a while, and you're really afraid to put yourself back out there again. You might think I'm so old. I'll be at the same experience level is like these 30 somethings or 20 somethings. Or maybe you're in a job where you've been content for a long time, but you're really starting to crave something more challenging. Or you just feel like it's not where you want to be anymore. But the fears of going for the thing that you really want are too big for you to actually do it. So I think it's easy to talk yourself out of it.
[00:17:09] Or maybe you just want to feel better about your life. You want to feel joy. You want to feel more meaning purpose, but you don't really have any idea where to start because you're so used to that comfort zone. The edges seem really far away. And what if you fail? That fear of failure can keep you stuck so easily.
[00:17:30] So I think, and this is where I'm connecting everything back together, is I think that if you start with seeing what's a wow for you in your life, go to your day and just look at it from this place of amazement.
[00:17:45] Even the small things, like take time to just stop, smell the roses, so to speak.
[00:17:51] So, how do we do this? It's easy to just say, well, start to be amazed at life.
[00:17:56]The first thing I think you can do is commit to practicing mindfulness. And I talk about this a lot, but I only talk about it a lot because it really does help. But make it a point to take like five minutes of your day or whatever - you can start with one minute or two minutes or whatever, but take some time. A fairly significant amount of time, that's why I like five minutes. And just be amazed at something in front of you. Like, if you're at your desk at work. Think about your computer 50 years ago. Think about what the computer looked like or computers looked like. Right? Look at it and think about how they functioned as compared to today.
[00:18:42] Wow.
[00:18:44] Or think about your phone, you know, 20 years ago, you didn't have an iPhone. You had the big Motorola freaking suitcase phone, right? Like sit and look at your iPhone and be like, Holy crap. Look at all this stuff this phone does for me. And it fits in the palm of my hand. Like that's amazing. Right?
[00:19:08] Or think about your ergonomically designed chair if you're sitting in an office. Or if you're sitting in your car, think about that seat. Think about the design, the process that went into creating something as simple as an office chair or a seat in a car. Like we don't think about those things. Or look at your pen, like the ballpoint pens or the gel rollers or whatever. Look at that thing. And I mean, it's such a simple contraption. But think about the manufacturing process that's required to make this little pen, this little thing that we can't live without really. I mean, we could live without it, but it would kind of suck to have to use pencils all the time. Right?
[00:19:50] If you're outside, smell the fresh air, look at the sky.
[00:19:54] Have you ever like just sat and watched clouds? My sister and I, when we were little, we used to lay on a blanket in the yard and we used to stare at the clouds and we would name, Oh, that looks like a horse or that one looks like a, whatever. And it was so cool to sit and watch them because then, obviously as the clouds move, the shapes change and it was just kind of fascinating when you really throw yourself into watching that.
[00:20:21]Or be amazed at the universe and think about how we're just this tiny little speck in it. Look up in wonder that there's so much out there that we can't see, or as you're walking, think about how amazing your body is, how amazing your brain is. Like they're so complex. Think about all the things that your body and your brain allow you to do.
[00:20:42]Or look at your kids. I think that's fascinating as hell. Think about how amazing it is that there once is this microscopic egg in your body - if you're a woman listening to this. If you're a man, you can think about how amazing it is that they were once with microscopic egg in your wife's, sister's, partner's, body.
[00:21:04] And now they're like a living, breathing human, with their own personalities and their own complexities. So I invite you to play along with this and just say, wow, just wow.
[00:21:15] As you observe everything in your life, be amazed.
[00:21:19]Gratitude is also something that will kind of spur this exercise along. If you start a gratitude practice, as you think of the things you're grateful for, don't just write them down, just stop and really feel amazed at each one.
[00:21:32] Every morning I have a routine that I go through and one of the things is writing down three things I'm thankful for. But I will say that when you're in a hurry in the morning and if you're not really putting yourself into a place of uber mindfulness, it's easy to write things down and just whatever comes into your brain. But I would invite you to do this, writing the things you're grateful for down, but also really stop and think about why you're thankful for them. And just take a second to really be amazed at those things.
[00:22:08]So, if you like to journal, I say this all the time. If you like to journal... some people really hate journaling. I love it. I don't do it as much as I would like to do it. But, if you like to journal, whether it's a paper journal or a, you know, digital journal... I like Day One. I don't get paid for that...I don't get paid to say that, but I like Day One. If you do that, this is a great thing to journal on. Journal on what amazes you.
[00:22:33]So if you're having a hard time finding that wow, in your life, it might be a time to look at why.
[00:22:41] So I would invite you to schedule a free call with me to do some quick exploration. This is deeper work, but you have to start somewhere and just a 30-minute call can kind of give you some insight. So in the show notes, there's a link to schedule a call with me and I invite you to do that free of charge, no obligations. I'm not going to try to push you into buying coaching. I think it's just a great way to pick my brain a little bit and, you know, see, just kind of see what it's all about.
[00:23:09]And one of the keys to living a joyful life is being able to accept that there are places in your life where you do need to grow and to explore the things that are holding you back from doing that. And I can help you with this. I do this all the time. I'm very successful with it. It's amazing to have those aha moments where you realize, Oh, this is what's holding me back. I just need to work on this one thing. Cause it's hard to see it when you're in it.
[00:23:35]So another thing you can do is if you're having a particularly difficult day, you can try to find your wow in even the seemingly bad stuff. I say seemingly bad stuff, because sometimes the things we think are bad, aren't always bad. But if someone said something nasty to you, you can spin it. You can turn it into Wow. She must be having a really bad day. And then: Wow. I'm actually able to let that roll off of me because you know, I reframed it. It's not about me. It's about her having a bad day.
[00:24:07] So I love this idea of taking time to find the wow in your life. And for me, it keeps the memory of my grandpa alive and front and center in my mind all the time.
[00:24:19] I miss him so much. And I know all of my family really does too. Especially my grandma, my heart goes out to her. But it also really puts things into perspective and helps me take fewer things for granted. So I am encouraging you to go into your day right now.
[00:24:38] Do it now. Go find your wow.
[00:24:41] And I would also invite you to do this, make it a daily practice, go find your wow every day. And I'm sure after you start really practicing or, or making a point, just get curious about what you can be amazed at and think you're gonna really start to see some, some differences, some changes. I would love to hear about what you're finding too. So feel free to shoot me an email at kortney@kortneyrivard.com. I would really love to hear about it. I hope you found this helpful - I'd love to hear about that. If you found it not helpful, I'd love to hear about that too. If there are any other topics that you're interested in learning more about.
[00:25:21] So before I go, I just want to tell you a little bit about this new cool coaching offer that I have.
[00:25:27] It's an introductory package and it's a really great way to get a little taste of what coaching is like and how it can help you. It's called the Kickstarter sessions and the Kickstarter sessions are designed to help you with an area of your life that you're kind of stuck in.
[00:25:45] We dig in and we find out what it is that you want to work on, that you're being most held back in...where you're having a hard time breaking out of that comfort zone.
[00:25:54] We take a really good look at that and we dig into what are the things that are holding you back and why that is. And we create a plan, an actionable plan, with the top three things that you can do to move past that, you know, move out of that comfort zone.
[00:26:11] So the way it works is: first I send you kind of an assessment and like pre-homework. You do that, that you send it to me. You have a 90-minute coaching call, where we dig into your thing. We dig in there and figure out where you're being held back. What's holding you back, why it's holding you back.
[00:26:29]And then, we come up with a plan for you to get those things, to stop holding you back. So you can actually do the thing that you want to do in life. So you get unstuck, so you stop feeling "meh". You start seeing and feeling that amazement in your life. And then I'm gonna send you on your way. You're going to put your plan into action.
[00:26:47] And then we're going to have a followup session where we're going to talk about how it went. What's working, what's not working, we're going to tweak it so it fits you even better. And I'm going to send you on your way again, and then you're going to go crush it.
[00:26:59] Okay. So. The great news is it's an introductory program. It's only 149 for all of that. It's an amazing deal that is basically half price off of what I charge normally. So yeah. If you have any questions about it, feel free to just schedule one of those 30-minute consult calls. You can hop on the call, we can chat about it and see if it's something that can help you. Honestly, guys, there's nobody that this package would not help. So, give it a try. It's really, really affordable and who knows what you might get out of it. So come on guys. Be brave. Try it out.
[00:27:38] Anyway, thanks for tuning in today, guys. I hope you enjoyed hearing a little bit about my grandpa. I love talking about him. I'm sure that I'll talk about it more on the podcast, but I appreciate you listening to the story.
[00:27:49] I hope that this whole concept of just finding your wow in life is helpful. And like I said, I'd love to hear your experience with it. Thanks so much for tuning in. Next week we're going to be talking a little bit about investing time and money in your own self-care and mental health and why that's important. So look for that one in the next week or so, and I will see you next time.